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Win
Oct 22, 2015·Hurt or Injured
#20486
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Johnny Manziel is locker room cancer — he is injured

I just don't like the cut of this guy's jib, folks. He's locker room cancer. Not only is he injuring himself with his bad decisions, but he's injuring the entire rest of the team, infecting them with locker room leukemia. He is injured.

Manziel was released by the Browns in March 2016, never played in the NFL again, and had well-documented off-field issues. This was a correct read despite the satirical framing.

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Void
Oct 22, 2015·Monologue
#20472
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Pope should leave science to people who don't feel global warming

Lord, please tell the Pope that he needs to leave the science to all of us who don't feel the effects of global warming.

Satirical take on climate change deniers dismissing Pope Francis's climate encyclical Laudato Si (June 2015).
Loss
Oct 22, 2015·Monologue
#20473
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Putting the Bill Simmons podcast on notice

I'm putting the Bill Simmons podcast on notice this week, baby. I'm coming for you, Bill. There's nothing you can do to stop me. It's a revolution.

PFT's solo Steam Room podcast never overtook Bill Simmons. However, six months later PFT co-created Pardon My Take which became one of the biggest sports podcasts ever.
Loss
Oct 22, 2015·Monologue
#20474
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Dan Campbell might be the first interim head coach to win a Super Bowl

I personally think [Dan Campbell] might be the first interim head coach to win a Super Bowl.

Dan Campbell went 5-7 as interim coach in 2015 and did not reach or win the Super Bowl that season (the Broncos won).

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Void
May 26, 2026
#30572
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win the Western Conference Finals so I don't have to start hating Victor Wembanyama yet

I kind of want the thunder to win because I'm not ready to start the clock on when I have to start hating the Spurs again.

Personal preference of the speaker.
Open
May 26, 2026
#30575
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Success for the USMNT is defined as winning at least one elimination game

The very, very bottom line for what we could consider to be success I would say is if we win one elimination game, okay. That would be okay. Reaching the quarter finals. That's okay. That's what success is for this team.

Outcome of upcoming tournament is unknown.
Open
May 26, 2026
#30573
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Westham will finish in the top 10 of the EPL table next year because of season-ending momentum

I expect Westham, my Hammers to finish in the top 10 of the table next year. English soccer fans don't understand sports. They don't get momentum. And winning your last game of the season three nil, you're gonna have all the momentum going into next year in the EPL.

The 2026-27 EPL season has not concluded in this timeline.