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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Lionel Messi is bleaching his hair to hide from tax fraud investigators

So, well, he did have brown hair, and now he just bleached it totally blonde. This adds to my theory that maybe he's a relative of Nazi... that's how you get away from tax fraud or whatever he was doing with his dad.

The claim that he bleached it for disguise is satirical; the tax conviction was real but the hair was just a style choice.

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Tony Montana is a top-tier bad guy, even though I've never seen 'Scarface'

My bad guys are, number one, Tony Montana. Now, I've never actually seen Scarface, but I'm told he's like the bad guy. I've seen the clip where he says, 'you need to point as a bad guy, and I'm the bad guy.'

This is a subjective evaluation of a fictional character's quality as a 'bad guy.'
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God from the Old Testament is a top-tier bad guy

So I'll segue right from there into my number three which is God, God from the Old Testament. Kind of a bad guy. Threw a lot of stuff at people. People forget that. That God was kind of a hard ass.

This is a purely subjective interpretation of literature/theology used for a joke.
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Tom Brady is a bad guy

Number four on my Mount Rushmore of bad guys. Tom Brady. [Belichick] never got suspended. True. He only got fined.

The concept of a 'bad guy' in sports is subjective.

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The Rams' Australia travel plan was an all-time 'fuck it' move

It was a terrible idea that Sean McVay tried to do, but I have to respect how much of an all-time fuck-it move it was to just pretend that time zones don't exist. He was just like, you know what, fuck it, we're not gonna adapt. We're gonna fly in, fly out.

The Rams lost the Australia opener after using the fly-in/fly-out approach, supporting the criticism in this game-specific judgment.
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KOC will get the best out of Kyler Murray

I think that what he's gonna get the absolute best outta Kyler Murray that he possibly can at this point, which I think should be good enough to be a pretty good team this year.

Kyler Murray's 2026 season and Minnesota's performance will determine whether this forecast holds.
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Jayden Daniels is going to remind everyone that the bad man is back

I think Jayden Daniels, he's as healthy as he has been since the start of last season. ... I think that he's gonna remind a lot of people who he is. Yeah. That's what I think. I think the bad man might be back.

Daniels' 2026 season will determine whether he re-established himself as an elite or feared quarterback.