Dr. Fauci's first pitch was almost good because of how terrible it was

I actually think first pitches either be terrible or be incredible. I don't think Dr. Fauci had incredible in him. Might as well just go terrible. It was almost good how bad it was.

I would be more concerned about the COVID-19 response if Dr. Fauci threw a 90mph strike

It would actually be concerning to me if Dr. Fauci went out there and grooved one like 90 miles an hour right down the pipe. That would be like, I don't know if I want this guy leading my response to infectious disease.

I'm pre-mad about how much the Mike Tyson vs. Roy Jones Jr. fight is going to suck

Mike Tyson is back. He's going to fight Roy Jones Jr. in September... I'm going to buy this fight... and it's going to suck. It's going to be sadder than the Kimbo Slice Dada 5000 fight. This is going to without a question suck and I'm going to get so excited for it.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.

James Wood will be a monster this season and hit 35 plus home runs

The only thing I have to look forward to this season is James Wood just being a fucking monster and getting 35 plus home runs. That's the only thing that I'm going to this season looking forward to as a Nats fan.

Tom Brady never processed 9/11 because he was such a psycho about football

He just had delayed onset grief. Anything that happened during his playing career, he never processed any of it outside of football. Tom Brady probably never processed 9/11. He was such a psycho, all he cared about was football. He probably found out about it like two years ago.