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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Men who buy cats are betas who want to be dominated by an animal

You're dealing with a cat guy here. Cat guys are not alphas. Not an expert negotiator. He basically got a cat because he's such a beta that he wants an animal that will dominate him... If you get a cat as a male in the United States past the age of 10 years old because you want it, you should not be allowed to date one of our American women. Go to France.

This is an intentionally absurd and satirical take on masculinity.

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Loss
Jan 9, 2019
#4357
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Alabama is the worst 14-1 team of all time

Is Alabama the worst 14-1 team of all time? There probably is a team out there, and remember when I told you a little trivia, 1897 was the last time the team went 15-0... I think they got dethroned by Alabama.

While Alabamba was dominated, they were objectively one of the most talented teams in the country. This is a satirical valuation of the loss.
Win
Jan 9, 2019
#4358
Big CatBig Cat

Nick Saban got significantly outcoached by Dabo Swinney in the National Championship

Not only was it an ass-kicking, Nick Saban got outcoached. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far.

The final score (44-16) and several failed gambles (fake field goal) support the idea that Clemson's staff had the better game plan.
Void
Jan 9, 2019
#29214
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Saban looked like an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself because he got outcoached

Little Nick Saban looked like he was going to explode on the sidelines. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far. He does the thing where when he's really mad, you can tell because he just turns red and he crosses his arms and he just squeezes his own body. And he was like an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself because he knows he's not going to get that nut after the game that he needs.

This is a subjective characterization of Saban's body language.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Ravens' fourth-quarter problems are moving earlier

Historically, the fourth-quarter Ravens have not been a great team. That fourth-quarter Ravens has started to creep its way into the third-quarter Ravens. And I think eventually it's going to keep creeping earlier and earlier in the game. I don't think it's going to get better because the defense does not look good.

This is a season-long assessment that can only be judged against Baltimore's eventual 2026 performance.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Baker Mayfield has a real revenge game against Cleveland

This is like a big Baker revenge spot too. This is not a made-up Baker—I have a perceived slight against me because some team didn't trade for me when I was on the market. This is Baker Mayfield against Stefanski, and they haven't talked since he left Cleveland.

Whether the personal history materially affects the game is subjective, though the stated public grievance is part of the episode's context.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should reduce the season to 16 games

I'm going to say it. I think that 17 games is too much. I like the scarcity. I like if you brought it back to 16, because the NFL's also been playing this game for a long time where they have to find safer-looking ways to do a dangerous activity.

The preferred NFL schedule is a policy judgment, though the player-safety rationale is grounded in the discussion's cited study.