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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Millennials are killing breasts because they are desensitized by the internet

Millennials are killing boobs. So boobs are on the hot seat. ... Hooters is going through some down times. ... It's actually just because millennials aren't going to the restaurants anymore because they don't like boobs. ... By the time you're 18, you're like a seasoned veteran.

Economic data does show Hooters and similar 'breastaurant' models declining with younger demographics, though 'killing boobs' is a satirical framing.

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Loss
Aug 20, 2018
#15693
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL is dead because of the new preseason penalty rules

Today is Monday, August 20th, and the NFL's dead. Yeah, it's absolutely, there's no reason to watch the games this year, because everything's a flag. Yep, preseason football has shown us. We're not overreacting, guys. I saw a couple clips on Twitter. It's over.

The NFL did not actually die; ratings remained high and the league continued normally despite the rule changes.
Loss
Aug 20, 2018
#15694
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

NFL referees should have a finite amount of flags to throw per game

How about the refs get a certain amount of flags? So there's a finite amount of flags that they can throw. So they each get like five flags. And once they're out, it's just – and you know it. The players know like, okay, that ref has thrown – let's say the guy who's reffing the secondary has thrown all five of his flags in the fourth quarter. Just fucking do whatever you want because you can't throw anything.

The NFL never implemented a limit on official flags.
Win
Aug 20, 2018
#29040
Big CatBig Cat

The NFL will eventually call significantly fewer of these new preseason penalties once the regular season starts

I actually think the NFL is going to figure it out. I'm no longer in the hysteria camp. ... They're setting the tone. And once the season starts, they're going to probably call significantly less of these penalties. And I just can't imagine the NFL being like that one penalty that we're talking about, the Vikings sack. Like that can't be called. They won't do it.

The NFL did eventually dial back the enforcement of the 'body weight' and 'helmet' rules after a massive outcry during the first few weeks of the 2018 season.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.