The Challenge is the fifth best sport in America

If we're talking about non-mainstream sports, that's The Challenge. It's the fifth best sport in all of America.

Lonzo Ball's terrible shooting mechanics will get stuffed in his face against real NBA competition

We could make [the NBA logo] Lonzo Ball and his terrible shooting mechanics that are going to get stuffed back in his face a million times when he plays real competition, not in the summer league.

Colin Kaepernick has a 'Bob Ross thing' going on and the NFL wants a surgeon at quarterback, not an artist

Kaepernick's hair, he's got like a Bob Ross thing going on. The guy that was on Public Access, the painter guy. And if you want to be a quarterback, we don't want an artist, right? We want a surgeon.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.

Little Joe the gorilla forced a trade out of Boston to Pittsburgh

I see from little Joe's perspective, he probably forced this trade. Like little Joe probably demanded a trade so he could go somewhere and start to fuck again. You're getting rid of a locker room case. He's had some issues, some, some character concerns and distraction issues.