Lonzo Ball's terrible shooting mechanics will get stuffed in his face against real NBA competition

We could make [the NBA logo] Lonzo Ball and his terrible shooting mechanics that are going to get stuffed back in his face a million times when he plays real competition, not in the summer league.

NFL equipment managers might be the ones preventing teams from signing Colin Kaepernick because they don't have helmets big enough for his hair

Maybe it is actually the equipment guys who are telling these owners not to sign Colin Kaepernick because they're like, I don't think I have a helmet big enough for his hair.

Colin Kaepernick has a 'Bob Ross thing' going on and the NFL wants a surgeon at quarterback, not an artist

Kaepernick's hair, he's got like a Bob Ross thing going on. The guy that was on Public Access, the painter guy. And if you want to be a quarterback, we don't want an artist, right? We want a surgeon.

The 'Player to be Named Later' in baseball trades is enticing because it sounds like they could be anyone, even a Hall of Famer

But the player to be named later, it sounds really enticing. It's like, that guy could be fucking awesome. Could be anyone. Yeah, could be a Hall of Famer.

Mike Gundy's mullet should be considered an NCAA recruiting violation

I actually threw out the idea that [Mike Gundy's] mullet might now become a recruiting violation because who wouldn't want to play for him?

Curling is chess on ice and is a perfect mix of brain and brawn

It's chess on ice. It's a perfect mix of brain and brawn, and yeah, it's fantastic. The sweeping is incredibly taxing.

Rugby is the fastest growing sport in America

I can't say rugby because rugby is definitely not obscure. It's very mainstream. In fact, fastest growing sport in America.

Michael Jordan is better than LeBron James

[Gun to your head] I mean, you go with MJ.

LeBron James' career is an incredible feat given the spotlight he has faced since age 18

For what [LeBron]'s had to handle from such a young age... to have the entire world spotlight on you, expecting you to be great, and to go out there and to live up to all the hype that people have put on you. And also have a clean record off the court... that's incredible.

Success is not owned, it's leased, and rent is due every day

Its success is not owned its least and rent is due every day. And that's what I said... I've never once said that that was my quote. I've said before that it's not my quote. But people always give that to me.

You can't find a touchdown in a club

You can't find a touchdown in a club. Is that true? Yeah, that's my quote.

Kirk Cousins is the poster boy for a quarterback bubble where teams feel forced to overpay mediocre players

I feel kind of bad for [Cousins] because he is the product of a quarterback bubble that we knew was going to burst eventually where teams just give these contracts out to guys like, are we sure they're good? And that is [Cousins] to a T. Like, okay, he's okay, but is he good? Eh, I don't know.

Pregnancy is controlled by a woman's mind and Plan B is usually a placebo

Plan B, to my understanding, is actually more often than not a placebo... it tricks the woman's body into thinking that actually she's not pregnant because pregnancy is controlled ultimately by your mind. Only mentally weak women will get pregnant.