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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Playing Patrick Mahomes against the Packers would be Andy Reid's dumbest decision

If Andy Reid plays Patrick Mahomes, this will go down as the dumbest decision that he's ever made in a career that's been largely defined by singular dumb decisions that he's made during games.

Mahomes did not play in the Week 8 game against the Packers.

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Win
Oct 25, 2019
#2521
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kirk Cousins will eventually break everyone's heart

I'm not ready to crown Kirk Cousins. I think he's still going to break everyone's heart. It's going to happen eventually. Of course.

Cousins left Minnesota after 6 years without a Super Bowl appearance, often losing in high-pressure spots.
Win
Oct 25, 2019
#2522
Big CatBig Cat

The Washington Nationals are a team of destiny

The Washington Nationals. We said it on Wednesday. It rings true today. They are a team of destiny. Big time.

The Nationals did win the 2019 World Series.
Loss
Oct 25, 2019
#24633
Big CatBig Cat

Barron Trump is going to be the next MLS superstar

I think [Barron Trump] is going to be like the next MLS superstar... he's at his football academy.

Barron Trump has not pursued a professional soccer career as of 2024.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.