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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Professional athletes should stay in their rooms and say nothing during the month of July to avoid headlines

Basically just don't say anything during the month of July. Like anything that any professional athlete of note has to say is going to become a headline story. So just just shut up. Just maybe here's what you should do. Just stay in your room. Lock yourself in your room. And just hang out there for a while.

The 'July sports vacuum' is a real media phenomenon where trivial stories receive outsized coverage.

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Jul 22, 2016
#16013
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bruce Arians has a unique 'locker room' accent because he gets fired so often

Arians' accent, like he's never lived in a place long enough to develop a real accent because he gets fired all the time. So his accent is just locker room. It's just like a mix of like southern good old boy, like inner city, and then a little bit of Midwestern.

This is a subjective observation about Arians' speaking style.
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Big CatBig Cat

Any twins who share a Twitter account have definitely kissed each other on the lips

Now, you know my theory that all twins at some point have kissed each other on the lips, like not in a brother-brother, sister-sister way. If you share a Twitter account, I think it's basically decided that that has happened, correct?

This is an absurd, unprovable, and humorous claim.
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Big CatBig Cat

'Out of pocket' is the worst office buzzword because nobody knows what it actually means

Number one, I cannot stand when people say out of pocket. I don't even know what that means... See, this is the worst buzzword because no one even knows what it means. So when you say out of pocket, you're an asshole for this. It could also go on the Mount Rushmore of excuses. I'm out of pocket. And then when someone says, I thought you were out of pocket, you had your phone on you, said, no, I'm out of pocket. I don't have my phone. I don't have anything. I'm out of pocket.

The definition of 'out of pocket' is famously debated between meaning 'unavailable' or 'paying for something yourself', supporting his claim of its ambiguity.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

The Pistons did indeed improve from 14 wins in 2023-24 to a high seed in 2026, making the trajectory claim historically accurate within the show's timeline.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

The 2026 Stanley Cup winner is pending. If Montreal wins, we await PFT's French naturalization.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.