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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Professional athletes should stay in their rooms and say nothing during the month of July to avoid headlines

Basically just don't say anything during the month of July. Like anything that any professional athlete of note has to say is going to become a headline story. So just just shut up. Just maybe here's what you should do. Just stay in your room. Lock yourself in your room. And just hang out there for a while.

The 'July sports vacuum' is a real media phenomenon where trivial stories receive outsized coverage.

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Jul 22, 2016
#16013
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bruce Arians has a unique 'locker room' accent because he gets fired so often

Arians' accent, like he's never lived in a place long enough to develop a real accent because he gets fired all the time. So his accent is just locker room. It's just like a mix of like southern good old boy, like inner city, and then a little bit of Midwestern.

This is a subjective observation about Arians' speaking style.
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Big CatBig Cat

Any twins who share a Twitter account have definitely kissed each other on the lips

Now, you know my theory that all twins at some point have kissed each other on the lips, like not in a brother-brother, sister-sister way. If you share a Twitter account, I think it's basically decided that that has happened, correct?

This is an absurd, unprovable, and humorous claim.
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Big CatBig Cat

'Out of pocket' is the worst office buzzword because nobody knows what it actually means

Number one, I cannot stand when people say out of pocket. I don't even know what that means... See, this is the worst buzzword because no one even knows what it means. So when you say out of pocket, you're an asshole for this. It could also go on the Mount Rushmore of excuses. I'm out of pocket. And then when someone says, I thought you were out of pocket, you had your phone on you, said, no, I'm out of pocket. I don't have my phone. I don't have anything. I'm out of pocket.

The definition of 'out of pocket' is famously debated between meaning 'unavailable' or 'paying for something yourself', supporting his claim of its ambiguity.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The prediction resolves when JMU's 2026 football season ends or the team wins another game, whichever comes first.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Wizards' 2026-27 regular-season finish will determine whether this playoff-seeding prediction was accurate.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.

The 49ers' 2026 defensive quality and this Week 7 result can be evaluated against the skepticism expressed here.