Joining the Wikipedia club will help you get at least two correct answers on Jeopardy in the next six months

I guarantee you that by joining our [Blake Bortles] Wikipedia club you're going to get like at least two correct answers in Jeopardy over the next six months. This is going to come in so handy for you, like way more practical than Andrew [Luck's book club].

You should always throw the first punch against a man named Rougned Odor

Rule of thumb. You always throw the first punch against a guy named Rougned. That's a guy that can't go back. That's a guy that's got nothing to lose right there.

Jose Bautista didn't expect to be punched because real punches never happen in baseball fights

[Bautista] basically was like, I can guarantee that this won't happen because it's never, ever happened. I mean, the last time a true punch was thrown, Michael Barrett and AJ Pierzynski, I mean, it's been a long time. So he banked on that.

Getting excited for the NFL schedule release is for pussies

I can't get it up for the schedule release because it's—if you explained what the schedule release was to Vince Lombardi, he'd call you a pussy and spit in your face.

The NFL should release one game schedule per day for the entire off-season

The NFL, they should do, they should draw it out even longer. It should be one game that Roger Goodell releases per day for the entire off-season. And then at the end of it, he's like, okay, let's play some ball.

The Preakness Stakes should move its date to three weeks before the Kentucky Derby

Why doesn't the Preakness just say, screw it to the Kentucky Derby and schedule their main race for like three weeks before the Kentucky Derby? You wanna play hardball? Yeah, you could play hardball. I feel like if you, if your horse wins the Preakness, if it was scheduled for before the Derby, you're not skipping the derby. No, you gotta run in the derby.