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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Rickie Fowler will remake his famous 'single' Ryder Cup photo by 'tongue wrestling' his wife after winning

If we win the Ryder Cup, I can't wait for [Fowler] to remake that picture where everybody's making out with their wives or girlfriends afterwards... and Ricky's just in the middle just smiling like 'I don't have a face to kiss right now.' I need him with Allison Stokke... full on just tongue wrestling.

The US lost the 2023 Ryder Cup, so the victory celebration photo never happened.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Anything said at a championship parade should be protected by client-patient confidentiality

Anything you say at a Championship parade should be, that's like, that's client patient confidentiality. You can't, can't hold that against anybody. You're drunk at a parade. You're gonna say what you want.

This is a subjective opinion about social etiquette during championship celebrations.
Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jeremy Grant contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Damian Lillard

The biggest loser in free agency is Jeremy Grant. Jeremy Grant got 150 million to return to the Trailblazers. Now on paper you're like, wow, that's a great deal. But the contract was the straw that broke the camel's back for Dame. He was like, this is, this is what we're doing in free agency. We're resigning Jeremy Grant. Yeah, fuck you guys. I'm out.

Lillard officially requested a trade on July 1, 2023, the day after the Grant deal was reported. While long-term issues existed, the timing supports this being a catalyst.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

The theory that Portland should treat Dame Lillard 'correctly' to attract future free agents is the dumbest theory in the world

The the theory that the Blazers should treat Dame correctly so that they could get future free agents is the dumbest theory in the world. They're not gonna get future free agents. They should get whatever they can get.

This is subjective, but the Blazers eventually traded Lillard to Milwaukee (not his requested destination of Miami) for a package of assets.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.