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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Robert Griffin III will lead the Browns to their first win and his free agent stock will soar

That would be the most Robert Griffin triumph of all time is if he led the Browns to their one win. And then, guess what? Stock goes way up in the free agent marketplace.

The 2016 Browns did finish 1-15, but their lone win was against the Chargers with RG3 starting, though he didn't finish the game due to injury and it didn't significantly boost his free agent stock.

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Void
Nov 18, 2016
#28941
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

White is the least racist color because it is actually a combination of every other color

White is actually the combination of every color out there. So it's actually really when you get down to it, it's the least racist color. We're not racist because we're every color. We love white.

This is a satirical take on color theory and sociology that cannot be factually resolved.
Loss
Nov 18, 2016
#1842
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Donald Trump saved football because Americans will care less about CTE science during his presidency

Under Trump, the country will care less about truth or facts. It'll be more raw and brutal. Football will be more of an outlet. We'll go back to liking our violent sports... So Trump saved football. He saved football. Already made America great again.

While satirical, the literal claim that Trump 'saved' football ratings is incorrect as NFL ratings continued to face challenges and became even more politicized during his term.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Setting a hotel room thermostat to 60 degrees is the best move in life

Stardom, putting the hotel room to like 60 degrees. That is the best move out there. Love doing that. I don't even care if it's winter. Just get under those blankets.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.