Donald Trump saved football because Americans will care less about CTE science during his presidency

Under Trump, the country will care less about truth or facts. It'll be more raw and brutal. Football will be more of an outlet. We'll go back to liking our violent sports... So Trump saved football. He saved football. Already made America great again.

Robert Griffin III will lead the Browns to their first win and his free agent stock will soar

That would be the most Robert Griffin triumph of all time is if he led the Browns to their one win. And then, guess what? Stock goes way up in the free agent marketplace.

Setting a hotel room thermostat to 60 degrees is the best move in life

Stardom, putting the hotel room to like 60 degrees. That is the best move out there. Love doing that. I don't even care if it's winter. Just get under those blankets.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.