Steve Ballmer is definitely the guy at a bachelor party who over-plans every single detail

Steve Ballmer is definitely the dude on a bachelor party who overplans every detail. It's like, alright, we're going to go fucking play some golf... 8 a.m. We're going to go to a nice, awesome lunch spot that I found. Then I rented a boat. Then we got a dinner. It's like, dude, we just want to fucking get drunk. Stop planning everything.

The NHL is partially responsible for Tom Wilson's behavior because they removed goons from the game

It's kind of, in a weird way, the NHL's fault for getting fighting and goons out of hockey because Tom Wilson is kind of the apex predator now. Like, if there were still goons, a goon would fuck Tom Wilson up, and it would be taken care of, and he wouldn't be doing this shit. He's a hybrid goon... he knows there's no real repercussions.

NHL players should be suspended for the same duration that the player they injured is sidelined

It does feel like an easy way to fix this in hockey is just you're suspended for as long as a guy's injured. Like, that's so easy.

Augusta National likely set up Mark Calcavecchia to get caught with a cell phone to prove they still have authority

My theory is that they talked to... a behind the scenes situation where they said, we getting a lot of shit. People are saying that we still don't have it, so we're gonna throw your ass out if you're okay with just saying that he had a cell phone. So I think it might be a setup.

I can shoot a 110 at Augusta National

I actually don't think that what I said was that stupid. You said you could shoot 110. I think I could shoot 109. I could break 110. I'm not saying I would do it every time. I don't think so. I think I could do it.

Everyone should be able to break 150 at Augusta National

It was more so the people that were like, dude, you can break 150. I think everybody, everyone here should be able to break 150 at Augusta.