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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The black cat on Monday Night Football was a plant by the NFL to distract the public from Conan the military dog

I couldn't help but wonder with all the news last week about [Conan] the dog that took down ISIS—he was on all the news stories, he's basically the main center of America's focus—if it was a little too convenient that the very next Monday Night Football game a cat took center stage. I think it's a plant.

This is a comedic conspiracy theory with no factual basis.

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Win
Nov 6, 2019
#14112
Big CatBig Cat

NFL coaches who challenge pass interference are fucking morons

If you're a coach and you challenge pass interference you are a fucking moron. All that the rule has done is just figured out which coaches were dumb and it's given more time for advertisements for the NFL.

The rule was so poorly implemented and the overturn rate was so low that it was widely considered a failure and was removed after one season.
Win
Nov 6, 2019
#14113
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Daniel Jones is just a slightly shittier update of the Eli Manning model

Daniel Jones, who is he really is Eli Manning if Eli Manning like he just a little bit shittier version. They updated the model and he has the same type of fumbles interceptions. He can run a little bit.

Daniel Jones has continued to struggle with turnovers (fumbles and interceptions) throughout his career, mirroring Eli's career-long trend.
Void
Nov 6, 2019
#14114
Big CatBig Cat

Daniel Jones needs a vice like smoking or video poker to improve his play

I think Daniel Jones biggest problem is I don't think he has a vice. I think he needs to maybe be a smoker or I don't know like video poker or something a gamer. Because it just feels like he's a little too plain. His vice is literally just throwing interceptions. So you need to shift that vice to something else.

This is a humorous character analysis that cannot be proven or disproven, though Jones has remained notoriously 'plain' in his public persona.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.