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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cubs should sign Tim Tebow because he can 'defeat the sun' during day games

Tebow took flies in center looking into a hellacious sun. Did not bobble or miss one... Name me one baseball player that has defeated the sun. ... If Tebow's in the conversation, it makes our jobs a little bit easier. I wouldn't mind seeing him in a Cubs uniform. A lot of day games. ... We play a lot of day games, and we know that Tebow can beat the Sun.

Tebow signed with the Mets, not the Cubs, and never made the Major Leagues.

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Push
Aug 31, 2016
#16194
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Teddy Bridgewater's injury is actually a positive for Vikings fans because it removes the stress of expectations

I mean, right off the bat, it's kind of nice. You don't have to get your hopes up. It's vacation season for Vikings fans. Like, you know, just relax. Take your shoes up. You don't have to stress yourself out during the games. You get to kind of take it easy.

The 2016 Vikings started 5-0 without Teddy but collapsed to 8-8 and missed the playoffs, largely fulfilling the 'doom and gloom' despite the brief hope.
Void
Aug 31, 2016
#27070
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Vikings fans now have no excuse to miss church on Sundays

Hey, Vikings fans, you don't have an excuse to miss church now. OK, so every Sunday, get your ass in the pew. I know you guys party hard, so you've got a lot of sins to atone for.

This is a sarcastic lifestyle suggestion for fans.
Loss
Aug 31, 2016
#16195
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A player who suffers a gruesome career-ending injury should have the option to be euthanized on the field

If it's an old fullback, let's say he's like 37, 38 years old, got a lot of miles on the legs. He's about to retire and he lives and breathes for football, breaks his leg gruesomely. I think a player like that would almost rather be euthanized on the field than have to live out the rest of the life.

This is an absurd philosophical stance that will never be legal or sanctioned.

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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

The Pistons did indeed improve from 14 wins in 2023-24 to a high seed in 2026, making the trajectory claim historically accurate within the show's timeline.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

The 2026 Stanley Cup winner is pending. If Montreal wins, we await PFT's French naturalization.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.