I am officially cancelling all sports until 2022 to avoid further heartbreak

I'm approaching [cancellations] the exact opposite way. I am cancelled sports for 2020, 2021 and possibly 2022 and anything that we get that comes sooner than that is a bonus. I'm not gonna let myself get my heart broken over and over... the world has ended and sports are over.

The NFL should play on a remote island or in Hawaii to save the season

The NFL actually should be looking at like island property right this second. They should be looking wherever the fucking Bahamas Bowl is played... go to Hawaii. Go back to the Pro Bowl.

OJ Simpson should have been left off the NFL 100 list

OJ Simpson, like I get it, but I mean, come on, you could have very easily not put OJ Simpson on this list and nobody have been like, 'Hey, what the fuck? Why don't you put OJ Simpson on the list?'

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.