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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA is paying the refs

The NBA is paying the refs. The NBA actually always pays the refs. That's how they get paid. They're paying the refs.

The NBA does, in fact, pay its referees a salary.

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Void
May 24, 2017
#7574
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kyrie Irving wouldn't have gotten off the bench for John Wooden in the 1960s

If [Kyrie Irving] played back in the 60s, he wouldn't have got off the bench on John Wooden's team. Dribbles between the legs too much. A little bit of a ball hog. A little bit of a flashy showboat. But I guess if you score points in today's day and age, that's all you need.

This is a subjective historical counterfactual used for comedic effect.
Loss
May 24, 2017
#7575
Big CatBig Cat

Dante Jones is the real coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers

Okay, the coach, [is] Dante Jones, my former teammate. He has his three-point celebrations down so perfectly. There's like a different one for each guy. He's the first one off the bench to high five. He's the coach.

Tyronn Lue was the official head coach and led the team to the Finals that year.
Loss
May 24, 2017
#28457
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Cavaliers haven't lost an NBA title since I left my wallet at Quicken Loans Arena.

I left my wallet in the Q, and they have not lost an NBA title since then. So right now, it looks pretty good for the Cavs.

The Cavs won in 2016 after he left the wallet, but they lost the 2017 NBA Finals just weeks after this episode aired.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.