PMT DB
PMT DB
Jim Harbaugh on Football Dreams, Milk Drinking, and Meeting the Pope
Grit Week is officially in full swing as Big Cat and PFT Commenter hit the road in Vanny Woodhead. The guys are coming to you live from Cleveland after witnessing Kyrie Irving’s absolute masterpiece in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals. While LeBron was battling foul trouble and looking like he was crying to the refs every other possession, Kyrie was busy contorting his body at the rim in ways that shouldn't be physically possible.
PFT CommenterThe NBA is paying the refs
The NBA is paying the refs. The NBA actually always pays the refs. That's how they get paid. They're paying the refs.
PFT was quick to point out that while Kyrie is putting up numbers today, he might have struggled under a certain legendary coach back in the day.
PFT CommenterKyrie Irving wouldn't have gotten off the bench for John Wooden in the 1960s
If [Kyrie Irving] played back in the 60s, he wouldn't have got off the bench on John Wooden's team. Dribbles between the legs too much. A little bit of a ball hog. A little bit of a flashy showboat. But I guess if you score points in today's day and age, that's all you need.
Despite the weird in-game entertainment involving break dancers and a strangely skinny Machine Gun Kelly, the vibe in Cleveland is high. PFT even suggested that his personal belongings might be the secret ingredient to the Cavs' recent success.
PFT CommenterThe Cavaliers haven't lost an NBA title since I left my wallet at Quicken Loans Arena.
I left my wallet in the Q, and they have not lost an NBA title since then. So right now, it looks pretty good for the Cavs.
Michigan Man Jim Harbaugh
The centerpiece of the episode is a sit-down with the grittiest man in college football, Jim Harbaugh, at Schembechler Hall. Before the mics even turned on, Harbaugh was bleeding from a shaving cut under his nose, proving he lives the brand. He spent over half an hour talking about how toughness isn't just a trait you're born with, but something you develop through contact.
Jim HarbaughToughness can be built like a callus and the human body craves contact
Think of it [toughness] like building a callus, you know, just like the human body. What a tremendous organism. I mean, it actually craves contact. I mean, it likes contact, craves it, as opposed to a car... So, yeah, much like conditioning can be improved, I mean, so can that callus of toughness and grit also be acquired or improved.
Harbaugh’s intensity is legendary, and he confirmed that his obsession with the game doesn't stop when he leaves the facility or even when he falls asleep. He views the sport as a physical necessity, comparing it to a daily craving for something sweet.
Jim HarbaughI need football every day in the same way some people need ice cream or a drug.
Some people like and need ice cream. You know, they want to eat it every day. I look at football like that. I need it. I need football. [It's like a drug, yeah.]
He also shared his incredibly simple life philosophy that has guided him since 1973. It's a three-step plan that doesn't involve much room for hobbies like golf or stamp collecting.
Jim HarbaughMy life plan is to play football as long as I can, then coach, then die.
I knew from the very youngest age that I was going to play football as long as I could, then coach, then die. And I really haven't thought about deviation from that plan.
Milk and Foul Balls
The conversation took a turn into the "Harbaugh-isms" we all know and love. He explained how he grew to 6'3" despite the rest of his family being significantly shorter, attributing his height to a legendary consumption of milk during his elementary school years.
Jim HarbaughDrinking massive amounts of milk built strong bones and made me taller than the rest of my family.
I literally was able to drink as much milk as I could hold. ... The proof being that nobody in my family is over six foot. My brother, John, and my dad... are right at six foot. I got to six three. ... Milk builds strong bones. ... It does do a body good.
Beyond bone density, Harbaugh also shared his refined strategy for catching foul balls at MLB games. He's a man who never leaves the house without a glove, and he applies the same logic to the bleachers that he does to the offensive line.
Jim HarbaughThe 'low man wins' principle of football pad level applies to catching foul balls in a crowd.
Most of the balls that you get are not clean caught. I mean, all you got to do is go low. When you see the crowd of hands go up, just go low. Dive in low between the seats, that ball is going to come down. Like in football, pad level, low man wins.
Big Cat was fully on board with this, despite the internet's constant hate for adults who bring leather to the ballpark.
Big CatI am a staunch defender of adults wearing baseball gloves to games to catch foul balls.
I've always been a fan of and a defender of the baseball glove at the baseball game. Why wouldn't you wear a baseball glove? ... People think that grown men wearing [them is ridiculous], but I'm on your side.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
During Hot Seat/Cool Throne, the guys stayed on the theme of Grit Week. PFT put Ohio State on the Hot Seat, mostly because the Buckeyes were way less accommodating than the folks in Ann Arbor. He also dropped a controversial take regarding the best places to consume a cold beverage during the summer months.
PFT CommenterRooftops are overrated for drinking
I think that rooftops are actually overrated. I'm a beer garden guy. I'm a beer garden guy and I'm a river guy.
Big Cat brought up Leonard Fournette’s brother (also named Leonard) getting arrested, which sparked a brilliant parenting strategy for anyone looking to protect their favorite child's reputation.
Big CatLeonard Fournette’s parents are geniuses for naming both sons Leonard
If you're a parent out there, a new parent, and you're thinking about having a couple kids and you think one is going to probably be better than the other, name the shittier kid just Leonard so that all of his mistakes – Or anytime your good kid, the one that's your breadwinner, fucks up, you can just blame the shittier kid.
Segments
To wrap up, the guys sent their thoughts and prayers to Mike Zimmer, who is currently undergoing his eighth eye surgery. Big Cat suggested a more permanent, football-guy solution to the Vikings coach's recurring problem.
Big CatMike Zimmer should replace his eye with a glass eye featuring the Vikings logo
At some point, wouldn't a football guy just say, take the fucking eye out, put in a glass eye, and have it be the logo of whatever team I'm coaching?
The show concluded with a quick Bachelor update for people who refuse to watch the show. They discussed a contestant named Blake E. who spent his intro bragging about his anatomy, a move Big Cat found surprisingly bold.
Big CatBragging about your dick on national television is a solid strategy to win The Bachelorette.
I don't hate that strategy [bragging about his dick]. Why send a boy to do a man's job when you can just brag about your dick yourself on national television and no way will you regret this decision?
Finally, the guys bought Hank a Tamagotchi named "Thami" to see if he can keep a digital pet alive before they trust him with a real animal again.
Drink your milk and stay gritty.
