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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Roger Goodell is keeping a hit list of players who celebrate to have them killed

I think Goodell is secretly letting the players do this [celebrate], but you know he's keeping a hit list. So if he sees a player go to ground or use the ball as a prop, heaven forbid, he's writing your name down on a sheet of paper and he's going to pay to have you killed.

Roger Goodell is not literally hiring hitmen to kill NFL players for excessive celebration.

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Win
May 24, 2017
#7572
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA is paying the refs

The NBA is paying the refs. The NBA actually always pays the refs. That's how they get paid. They're paying the refs.

The NBA does, in fact, pay its referees a salary.
Void
May 24, 2017
#7574
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kyrie Irving wouldn't have gotten off the bench for John Wooden in the 1960s

If [Kyrie Irving] played back in the 60s, he wouldn't have got off the bench on John Wooden's team. Dribbles between the legs too much. A little bit of a ball hog. A little bit of a flashy showboat. But I guess if you score points in today's day and age, that's all you need.

This is a subjective historical counterfactual used for comedic effect.
Loss
May 24, 2017
#7575
Big CatBig Cat

Dante Jones is the real coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers

Okay, the coach, [is] Dante Jones, my former teammate. He has his three-point celebrations down so perfectly. There's like a different one for each guy. He's the first one off the bench to high five. He's the coach.

Tyronn Lue was the official head coach and led the team to the Finals that year.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in four games

Yeah. I mean it's, it is over Knicks in four. It's over.

Depends on the outcome of the specific 2026 playoff series.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Victor Wembanyama is a disappointment if he doesn't win seven championships

He has to win a minimum seven championships... has to. If he doesn't, disappointment.

Winning seven rings is nearly impossible in the modern NBA; even one or two would be a success.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Carlos Alcaraz and Jannik Sinner are going to have sex with each other because of their mutual respect

These guys are gonna fuck if they haven't fucked already. Holy shit. They're, they respect each other so much as competitors and as rivals, they're going to fuck each other. It's not even a question.

Inherently unresolvable and based on a fake quote anyway.