I'm reporting that Aaron Rodgers is retiring (per my arch-nemesis Aaron Nagler)

My arch nemesis, Aaron Nagler... he actually told me breaking news that Aaron Rodgers is going to retire... he was actually crying when he told me it. I had to like console him. He cried on my shoulder.

Steakhouses in Indianapolis are engaged in a spicy cocktail sauce arms race

I noticed the shrimp cocktail sauce was spicier than normal. I think they're trying to compete with St. Elmo's. It's an arms race... St. Elmo's is going to eventually just burn your mouth off and be like, 'here's your bill'.

James Harden has finally figured it out and will have smooth sailing with the Sixers

I think that James Harden, he's really figured it out this time. I think he's going to be smooth sailing.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.