Matt Ryan stinks

Today is Friday, September 7th and Matt Ryan stinks. Is Matt Ryan hurt? Because he's not good.

The Green Zone is football for morons and I love it

The green zone is essentially when they have the first down to gain and it is third down, they make the field look extra green between the line of scrimmage and the first down marker to let you know how much area they need to cover to get that first down. It is essentially football for morons, which we are, and I love it.

You can't complain about Steve Sarkisian's bad play calling because that's exactly what he is

Everyone's blaming [Steve] Sarkisian for everything just because he sucks at play calling. That's not his fault. That's who he is. If you hire Sark to be your offensive coordinator, you should know what you're going to get, and you can't complain about it.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.