The Green Zone is football for morons and I love it

The green zone is essentially when they have the first down to gain and it is third down, they make the field look extra green between the line of scrimmage and the first down marker to let you know how much area they need to cover to get that first down. It is essentially football for morons, which we are, and I love it.

You can't complain about Steve Sarkisian's bad play calling because that's exactly what he is

Everyone's blaming [Steve] Sarkisian for everything just because he sucks at play calling. That's not his fault. That's who he is. If you hire Sark to be your offensive coordinator, you should know what you're going to get, and you can't complain about it.

The Bengals will be a good value this year

I'm also buying the Bengals this year. I think this is the perfect year for the Bengals to get Marvin Lewis another seven years. Joe Mixon, John Ross, A.J. Green, I actually think they're going to score points.

The Over 45 is a lock for the Titans-Dolphins game

For my over, I'm going with Tennessee and Miami. So it's at 45. Mike Vrabel... you always got to go with a new head coach because you don't have anything on film for him. They're getting away from the exotic smash mouth... so you can't score any fewer points than you did with Mike Malarkey. So I like Tennessee-Miami.

The Over 48 in the Chiefs-Chargers game is money in the bank

I've got my super secret double lock with an over. It's such a good pick that I didn't even feel good telling you about it during the normal segment because it's basically money in the bank. Kansas City and the Chargers over. 48 points. Take it. Smell it.

I am not a Patrick Mahomes guy

I want to be on the record that I am not a Mahomes guy. Okay. Put me on the record. Put me in the history books.

The Bears were right to trade two first-round picks for Khalil Mack

[Ryan] Pace is the man. He gave up two first-rounders. Put his nuts on the table. But you don't know if they're going to be good anyway. People are always like, why would you give two first rounders? So you draft the first rounder. Do you know he's going to be good right away? Any time you get a chance to get a player like Khalil [Mack], you do it.

Kyle Orton was a great quarterback who never got the credit he deserved

People didn't give Kyle [Orton] enough credit. Kyle could do everything they asked him to do. They didn't ask him to do much because, first of all, Kyle knew what kind of defense he had. So he didn't turn the ball over... He understood the situation he was in with our defense. So he could make all the throws that we needed him to, but he just didn't get the credit he deserved.

Bear Weather is 100% real

Is Bear weather real? Yes, 100%. Nobody wants to play in Chicago past December or November or whatever. Our fans love it. In the winter, they don't care, man. They're going to come out and support no matter what. If you're playing there, you better take advantage of that weather because it's not going to change.

I want to coach Jalen Ramsey to play hockey

I kind of want to see him [Jalen Ramsey]. I want to teach him. I want to be his coach. I love how cornerbacks talk trash and obviously he was just doing it to stir the pot... but I'm over here like, man, I kind of want to see him try.

I'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs

We'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs. Spread that mayo all over it. Yeah, we'll eat a cow dick if the Raiders make the playoffs.

Grapes are the real frauds because they don't actually taste like grape

Grapes are the real frauds. Grapes don't taste like grape anymore. They got cucked out of their own taste... You're drinking a grape soda, but it is not grape. It doesn't taste like grapes. It tastes like purple.