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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The position parents are in during conception determines their child's athletic ability

I'm not a doctor, but, like, is there a way to tell, like, what position the parents were in when the kid was conceived? ... maybe the Gronkowskis, maybe they've got this stable of just super athletes being poured out of there because, like, maybe [Gordy] and the mom were, like, sprinting in some weird position while the conception occurred.

Conception position does not dictate future NFL measurables.

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Void
Mar 15, 2016
#2158
Chris LongChris Long

James Laurinaitis' dad is a more intimidating grandfather than Howie Long

I think [Howie Long] is up there, but you know, [James] Laurinaitis, his dad is, like, one of the Road Warriors... I got my dad in a Mortal Kombat situation over James' dad, but I'm just biased.

This is entirely subjective; both are extremely intimidating figures.
Void
Mar 15, 2016
#22517
Chris LongChris Long

My son's work ethic is going to be what carries him through his athletic career

His name is Waylon James Long, and he was like seven pounds, five ounces. So he's pretty down the middle as far as measurables are concerned. His work ethic is going to really be what carries him through.

This is a subjective joke about a newborn's professional future.
Void
Mar 15, 2016
#2159
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Joey Bosa is just a working man's Chris Long

Joey Bosa, I think is like he's a working man's Chris Long is what I've been saying about him.

Both were high draft picks and very successful defensive ends, making the comparison relatively apt.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Bills could have three or four Super Bowls without kickers

You can make the argument that the Buffalo Bills would have like three or four Super Bowls if kickers weren't a thing in football. You can make the argument that the Patriots might not have had the start of that dynasty if it wasn't for kickers.

The claim is a counterfactual and cannot be definitively verified.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Hurts will answer the Titans by beating them as a passer

I actually think Jalen Hurts is good enough as a quarterback that when somebody dares him to do that, he could say, 'Fuck you, I will beat you as a quarterback.' And then stay in the pocket and throw for like 300 yards and three touchdowns.

Hurts' passing production against Tennessee will determine this prediction.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars would be the second-best team in football if they win in Denver

If they win this game in Denver, I would put them maybe second in the power rankings behind the Jets.

The Jaguars' win and their resulting standing in PFT's power rankings are the relevant conditions; the ranking itself is subjective.