The Barstool office will eat over 1,000 Uncrustables in a single week

I predict we're gonna be in the like thousand ranges. ... I will make sure that we do not run out of Uncrustables at all for the week. And we'll keep track. Yeah. For this office. I'll send out an email. I'll be like, it's my, I I'm, we're doing a study. Eat as many Uncrustables as you want.

You can actually lose weight by eating a diet of Uncrustables

I actually think you could lose weight eating Uncrustables. Peanut butter's got tons of protein in it. Bread is the biggest part of the food pyramid, which is really, really healthy and scientific.

If the Eagles beat the Bengals, they are winning the Super Bowl

If we win this one though, I'm all the way back. Okay. If, if we win this one, I'm thinking soupy.

The Falcons are a real, flawed good team

I do think that the Falcons are real. Yeah. I think that they're a good team. They're a flawed good team.

The Falcons may have the NFL's best skill-position group

I think that if the Falcons can do that, they have maybe the best set of skill position players in the NFL. If you're able to protect Penix, he's good enough to distribute it and then just let their awesome players do awesome shit.

MLB's proposed check-swing replay would make everything a check swing

Yeah. Parallel with the plate. Yeah. That's what I thought the rule was. And apparently that's just not the rule anymore. If they ever bring this system to Major League Baseball, I get—everything's a check swing.