Blake Bortles is a lock to be the Jaguars' starter next year

So I guess Blake is, I guess, a minute as a starter next year. Yeah. So Kirk Cousins, one less spot.

The New Zealand Breakers should draft Josh Allen with their first pick

With our first pick, we're drafting Josh Allen. I don't think we're allowed to do that... We've offered Josh Allen a spot on the roster. Yes, we're going to do a lot of stuff even though I don't think we're allowed to do that either.

Curling will not become a mainstream popular sport in America

I'm not going to hate on curling. But don't fucking tell me curling is going to be big... don't start doing the Darren Revell and telling me that esports are going to take over the world and our kids are going to be playing curling soon... it's shuffleboard that we play when we're drunk at a bar.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.