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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tom Brady shipped Jimmy Garoppolo to San Francisco because he was a Republican

I think he shipped Jimmy Garoppolo out to San Francisco because Jimmy G was a Republican. And he didn't like having a Republican as his teammate. So he's like, I'm going to send you out to hang out with all the libs out in San Francisco.

This is a humorous conspiracy theory with no factual backing regarding the trade's motivation.

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Loss
Sep 5, 2018
#12030
Big CatBig Cat

The Browns are going to win the Super Bowl

I don't know if I am just still feeling the high of a Liev Schreiber narrated slow-mo. But I think the Browns are going to win the Super Bowl.

The 2018 Cleveland Browns went 7-8-1 and did not make the playoffs, let alone win the Super Bowl.
Void
Sep 5, 2018
#12031
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Browns season of Hard Knocks was better than the Rex Ryan Jets season

Listen, this is the best season of Hard Knocks. This was better than the Rex Ryan season.

This is a subjective opinion about the quality of a television show.
Win
Sep 5, 2018
#12032
Big CatBig Cat

I've never been more confident in the Khalil Mack trade than I am seeing Hue Jackson dislike it

I've never felt more confident in the Khalil Mack trade than I did when Hue Jackson saw the news and was like, oh, that's a lot. That's too many draft picks.

The trade was widely considered a success for the Bears in the short term as Mack helped them to an NFC North title in 2018.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.