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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tom Brady would never admit to having coronavirus because he drinks so much water it wouldn't affect him.

I'm putting all my money on Tom Brady because even if he gets it, he's not going to admit that he has it. And if he gets it, he's going to just—he drinks so much water that it's just not going to affect him. He wouldn't admit that he had it... and he'd be like, 'I'm fine, I'm totally fine... I drank six gallons of water today... there's no chance I have it.'

Brady did eventually contract COVID (post-Super Bowl 2021) and admitted it, though he remained famously healthy throughout the pandemic.

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Void
Jul 1, 2020
#292
Big CatBig Cat

Taking deferred money like Bobby Bonilla is a better deal than a lump sum payment.

Bobby Bonilla has an awesome contract... the more MLB TV rights deals start to come in, the more you're seeing players push off and say, 'yeah, I'll take some deferred money coming down the line.' It's a good deal. It's like when that scratch-off Millions for life or whatever it is... I would absolutely take a deal like that instead of giving me all the money straight up.

The financial wisdom of deferred money vs. lump sum depends on interest rates and investment returns, making it a matter of financial opinion.
Void
Jul 1, 2020
#293
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I would rather take $1 million a year for 25 years than $20 million upfront because I would spend the lump sum on jet skis.

If you were to say like, PFT, I'm going to give you either twenty million dollars on your 25th birthday or I'm going to give you a million dollars a year until you're 50, I'm absolutely taking the million until 50. Because if I'm 25, I'm just going to spend it like Billy Football would—just a shitload of jet skis, essentially just my own jet ski farm.

This is a subjective preference on personal financial management.
Void
Jul 1, 2020
#27094
Big CatBig Cat

Deferred generational contracts like $50k a year for 75 years would just make your grandkids lazy pieces of shit.

What if you just got like fifty thousand dollars a year for the next like however long it be 75 years... all that would be ensuring is that your grandchildren are going to be like the laziest pieces of shit ever because they'll be like, 'I get my four thousand dollars a year coming in every July 1st. I don't need to get a job.'

The impact of generational wealth on work ethic is a matter of long-standing sociological debate and cannot be definitively proven or disproven.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.