Tom Brady putting on a knee brace before getting drunk is genius thinking.

I love the knee brace. I love Tom Brady, like an offensive lineman wearing a preemptive knee brace during a football game. He goes out and gets drunk and he puts a knee brace on before he does it. That's thinking ahead. That's the difference between him and all the other quarterbacks.

The odds of Tom Brady winning a Super Bowl in any given season are the same as Steph Curry hitting a three-pointer.

Somebody pointed out on Twitter earlier today that the odds of Tom Brady winning a Super Bowl are about the same as the odds of Steph Curry hitting a three-pointer in any given season. Like him taking one shot from three is about the same at the start of the year as Tom Brady winning a Super Bowl. That's crazy to me.

I am deeply jealous of every athlete who can look good in a regular T-shirt.

Whenever I see athletes that are just in great shape wearing T-shirts, I'm like, man, I wish I could look that good in a T-shirt. It must be so cool to just be like, I'm going to throw on a T-shirt and look awesome... I'm comfortable saying that I'm very jealous of every athlete who just walks around in a t-shirt and looks awesome.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.