Valentine's Day didn't actually happen this year because it was the day after the Super Bowl

Go fuck yourself for putting Valentine's Day the day after the Super Bowl. That snuck up on everyone. Everyone had any idea that so if you got in trouble for forgetting Valentine's Day, just tell your significant other, literally everybody forgot about it. It didn't happen this year, basically.

The NFL should add a universal bye week in December to push the Super Bowl back to the Sunday before Presidents' Day

The universal bye should be enacted. We should push the season even a further week back so that we have the Monday after Super Bowl off with President's Day... you should have a bye week that there's no NFL football in one week sometime, maybe in like early December so I can get their Christmas shopping in, reset with their family.

Patrick Mahomes is maybe the most likable superstar in sports history

The Chiefs were the better team. I fully admit that Patrick Mahomes is maybe the most likable star ever. Like, he's won two Super Bowls, he's had an incredible start to his career and I still like him a lot. Like that usually doesn't happen in sports.

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.