The Chargers won the Eli Manning trade once and for all because the Giants are 0-5

Odell Beckham, more like 0-5, Odell Beckham. The Giants remain winless, and the Chargers win the Eli Manning-Philip Rivers trade once and for all.

The Eagles have no possible way to screw up this winning season

Philadelphia's got their blue-collar quarterback and a winning team. There is no possible way they can screw this one up, folks.

Offensive line coaches should be recreational cocaine users to stay amped for the job

I don't have a problem with an offensive line coach just doing a little recreational blow as long as it's on the job. If you use it just to get amped up before a meeting, what's the difference between that and just banging a monster?

The Chiefs' window never closed

I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.

Mahomes will be back to himself by season's end

By the end of this season, Mahomes is gonna be back to being Mahomes.

The Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath

I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.