The Houston Texans might actually be better without J.J. Watt

And we're all have to wonder, are the Texans better without J.J. Watt?

The great uniter in America is watching Tony Romo look miserable

America can always get behind watching Tony Romo look miserable. That is the great uniter here in America. And we're used to seeing it after he throws a fourth quarter interception... This time it was when they were winning and he was trying to put on that happy face. And it turns out that Tony Romo putting on a happy face is actually the saddest thing you've ever seen.

If Wisconsin wins out, they will lose to Alabama by 50 in the playoffs

This is a classic year where I start to tell myself, oh, maybe the Big Ten is really going to be back. And then one of those teams, probably Wisconsin, if they can win out, goes to Alabama, plays Alabama, and loses by like 50-7 or something like that.

The Brewers are what baseball fans say they want

The Brewers are everything that I think most people say that they want in a baseball team now. The knock against the direction baseball's been going for the last 10 years is you strike out, you hit home runs. And that's the way that you do it with the Brewers.

The Broncos would have won with the quarterbacks reversed

If quarterbacks were reversed tonight, who wins? Broncos. I think Drew Lock on the Broncos would've won tonight.

The 24-team playoff is the ongoing Savannah-ification of sports

It's the ongoing Savannah-ification of sports in America. It's a sad day.