Kyler Murray is an absolute bust

Kyler Murray looks pretty bad. [...] We're ready to declare after this first half maybe Kyler Murray's a bust. [...] Kyler Murray is an absolute bust.

The Jets will win the Super Bowl this year

Jets are going to win the Super Bowl. Jets look great. Guys, all my hot takes, all my Jets have an awesome color scheme this year.

Acquiring a cat is the first step toward retirement for an NFL player

I will say that acquiring a cat is the first step towards retirement. Yeah, you don't get a cat unless you're thinking about retiring. Second cat is he's retired. Absolutely.

I will never learn my lesson and will continue to believe in the Houston Cougars for the next four years

If you think this is going to deter me from believing in the Houston Cougars for the next four years, you are sadly mistaken. I will never learn my lesson when it comes to this team.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats would not be a great fit at UNC

I don't think he'd be a great fit there. Would people be talking about Nate Oats as much for this job if he didn't wear those jackets? They feel like Carolina jackets. It feels like he's been accepting people into anticipating him being the next UNC coach for a while.