Learn to do everything left-handed when you are eight years old

I would say learn to do everything left-handed. Tie your right hand behind your back for a while [when you're eight].

Cursive is an overrated and useless skill

Cursive is overrated. All of our eight-year-old listeners, cursive is [fucking]... You'll never need it again.

I was 6'4" and dunking in a basketball game by the 8th grade

I was 6'4 in eighth grade. I dunked in a basketball game in eighth grade. You're Magic Johnson. You're playing all five positions. I was like, dude, this is the greatest thing ever. I'm going to the league.

The 2026 World Cup final was boring and sucked.

It was boring ass soccer. It sucked. It made me thankful that the World Cup's over, that football's back. Now we can get back into real football, which I'm very, very thankful for. But that was actually, I think that was the best way to end the World Cup, because I'm totally fine with no more soccer now.

Fanatics Fest is a cynical place designed only to take money from fans.

It also seems like the most cynical place ever. Like, you can go to an autograph festival or a fan festival and you know that the guys are being paid to be there. And they're still like, happy to see, interact with you, all that shit. It just seems like every single thing about being at that place is just designed to take money from the people that are there.

Bryson DeChambeau is being targeted by selective rule enforcement.

I think that Bryson definitely did it and it's definitely against the rules. And he got caught for it and they enforced it against him because he's a bad boy. He's had some run-ins before. I don't think the R&A or whatever, I don't think they're particularly happy with Bryson right now.