I'm officially done with the preseason after one quarter of the Hall of Fame game

Every Hall of Fame game's the exact same. Seeing the helmets is great. Seeing the field is great. And then you're just like, okay, this kind of sucks. I want the real football. ... As soon as the first quarter of the first preseason game is over, I'm like just fucking get over with the preseason. I'm done with the preseason. Get me to the regular season.

I still believe in Kyle Sloter as the preseason quarterback of all time

Kyle Sloter, who right now is beating the Raiders three to nothing... He stinks? He's preseason quarterback of all time. The fourth quarter too. There's still the fourth quarter Kyle Sloter. I still believe in him. If you've watched him play, you should believe too.

Vin Scully is the best play-by-play broadcaster of all time

Yeah, no, definitely. He is the best play-by-play broadcaster of all time. He has moments that you could put in a dictionary. Like you could fill a dictionary with just thousands of pages... If I could have 1% of the success that he had, that would be a successful career. He is the best ever.

Big Cat and PFT having a New York Times bestseller marks the decline of society

But you guys having a New York Times bestseller is a mark of the decline of society. You two are barely literate... let alone everybody who works here, it's fucking insane... This is the kind of work that's like to get a C minus in a community college history paper.

Caleb Williams is a massive bust and a piece of shit.

That's why Caleb's a piece of shit. He's a fucking bust. And I, I was about to just hit PFT for no reason. But you didn't say anything. Please don't say something. I was, I was getting worked up...

Successful, handsome athletes like the Kelce brothers should stay out of podcasting because this industry is meant for rats.

Am I mad at the Kelce Brothers for coming into podcasting? Of course. Yeah. As we've said, this is for the rats. Yes. This is the sewer of entertainment. You shouldn't get to be Taylor Swift's husband. A handsome athlete. Your brother's an All-Pro Super Bowl winner, like with a beautiful family. Stay outta podcasting. You cocksuckers. This is for us.