Takes

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Manny Ramirez is a Mt. Rushmore steroid user for getting caught with female fertility drugs

I'll take Manny Ramirez. The way he got caught was very funny... he was taking like a female fertility drug. They had a system to kind of get by the testing that was foolproof. Manny Ramirez just forgot and like took it on the wrong day. Came in, got tested, got busted.

MVP Baseball 2005 is the greatest baseball game ever created

MVP Baseball 2005 was the greatest baseball player—was MVP Baseball? Yeah. The greatest baseball game. I think '04 as well was very good... those two versions were so, so elite.

Miami Marlins are the most edible team name in professional sports

I was actually I went through all the teams and I was like, what is just the most edible thing? And I think it's the Miami Marlins. I would take the Marlins. I would eat them Marlyn. And I think that's something people actually eat. I believe so. I, they look delicious.

Daisuke Matsuzaka's gyroball was the biggest lie in sports

Daisuke Matsuzaka... I was promised the gyro ball. I was promised the gyroball. Okay, and I never got the Gyro Bowl. I was told that he had like 500 different pitches that he could throw that he was going to come over and do things that no human arm had ever done before... then he came over and he threw like 93 on the black.

A-Rod moving to third base makes him an all-time sidekick

My next one is going to be A-Rod. Move to third base. Before he ever won anything.

The Montgomery Biscuits is a top-tier minor league team name

I got to go Montgomery Biscuits. The best part about it is the tongue is a pat of butter.

I could make the pros in five years as a knuckleball pitcher with seclusion and a personal chef

I said if you put me in a cabin in the middle of the woods with a personal chef and a knuckleball specialist, I could be in the pros within five years. I think with some training, seclusion, and just a lot more training, I could make it to the double A's and then, you know, who knows what happens from there.