PMT DB
PMT DB
Blake Bortles on Shaving His Head, Hard Knocks Review, and Mt. Rushmore
Big Cat and PFT start the show by bending the knee to the funniest coach in the league. Hard Knocks Episode 3 was heavy on Jon Gruden, and his penchant for using the F-word as a comma has completely won over Big Cat. The energy in Oakland is palpable, even if the roster building is a bit questionable.
Big CatJon Gruden is the funniest coach in the NFL
Jon Gruden leads the league in being pumped... I fucking love them. I'm switching. We make fun of Jon Gruden. We make fun of the Raiders the whole hundred million dollar contract. I have switched. I want Jon Gruden to succeed because we need him in our lives for as long as possible.
While the guys are fully on board the Gruden train, they have officially hit a breaking point with the Antonio Brown helmet saga. It has reached a level of absurdity that is overshadowing everything else in camp, and the patience for the drama is gone.
Big CatThe Antonio Brown helmet saga is officially exhausting
I am officially as well. So sick of Antonio Browns helmet. Yes, sick of the helmet but in love with the jumpsuit... just either find a helmet don't play with a helmet. I don't care. We might Riot if he continues to do the helmet stuff.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a heated discussion on geopolitics and land acquisition. PFT has a very simple solution for the United States if Denmark refuses to hand over Greenland for a fair price, and it doesn't involve any more negotiations.
PFT CommenterThe United States should just invade Greenland if Denmark won't sell it
There are other ways to take over a country besides buying it like fuck it. Let's just ride. Well, what's Denmark going to do to stop us from invading green? Nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. Yeah. There's probably some treaty that would stop it. But that's a piece of paper. Denmark has bigger fish to fry.
They also discussed the recent trend of athletes using their personal lives for brand deals. After Todd Gurley revealed his new cat was essentially a walking billboard for Hulu, PFT expressed his disgust for the lack of authenticity in the pet-content game.
PFT CommenterTodd Gurley using his cat to sell ads is disgusting and fraudulent content
Whoever makes ads out of their content. That's fucked up. It's disgusting. Yeah, like can you imagine using one of your pets as like a marketing thing or like Instagram starting a bit and then having it become an ad.
On the basketball front, Big Cat took aim at Devin Booker for complaining about getting double-teamed during summer open runs. To the guys, there is nothing softer than a professional athlete crying about the defense getting too tight during a scrimmage.
Big CatDevin Booker complaining about double teams in open runs is a soft move
Devin Booker was mad because Joakim Noah sent a double team on them. And Devin Booker was like, hey, we don't double team and open run... it just showed maybe Devin Booker is the s word soft... what more could work on your game than having a double-team you get double-teamed in the NBA. Why wouldn't she want to be double-teamed right here?
Mount Rushmore of Athletes We Thought Would Be Better
This Mount Rushmore was a walk down memory lane of self-delusion and broken dreams. Hank kicked things off by reminiscing about a documentary that convinced him he was looking at a future NBA GOAT.
HankSebastian Telfair was going to be the greatest NBA player of all time
Sebastian Telfair Through the Wire. I watched that movie like this kid is going to be... I was like this He's skipping College like he's dominating Dwight Howard. He is going to be the greatest NBA player of all time.
Big Cat shared his own trauma regarding the Bears' quarterback history and a certain Oregon legend who looked like he had it all. He admitted that his 18-year-old self would have bet his life on this guy's success.
Big CatJoey Harrington was going to be an unbelievable NFL pro
I would have put my life my 20 no my 18 year old life on this guy being an unbelievable Pro Joey Harrington. I was convinced Joey Harrington was going to be so good... it was also like Oregon up-tempo. This is all new. Who is this guy? Joey Harrington, I was convinced I was going to be that dude.
Naturally, the conversation turned to the biggest "what-ifs" in sports history. PFT looked back at the early 2000s when a certain teenage phenom was supposed to change the landscape of American soccer forever.
PFT CommenterFreddy Adu was going to save American soccer
I'm going to have to go with the goat Freddy Adu and we still don't know. He still could be great true... he was the first one I went to his very first game. DC United. I was there he got in after like I don't know 70 minutes. I was like if he's really good. He's probably be starting. That was my first clue. Yeah, but maybe he wouldn't be great.
Big Cat also threw a flag on his own talent evaluation from the 2007 NBA Draft. He was so convinced that the big man out of Ohio State was the surefire pick over a skinny kid from Texas that he still feels the sting of that take today.
Big CatGreg Oden was a better prospect than Kevin Durant
I was Big Time Greg Odin's better than Kevin Durant and I was like, how can you pass on a big man this good? I think I was probably biased because he played you know, I watched him play the Big Ten... I would have put everything on Greg Oden being that block.
Blake Bortles Joins the Show
Our good friend the BOAT, Blake Bortles, joins the show while cruising in his Tesla (with Tatiana at the wheel, of course). The big news is the newly shaved head. Blake has finally embraced the baldness, and the reception has been mostly positive, despite some ball-busting from Jared Goff.
Blake BortlesI will eventually get back on Twitter and probably let Big Cat and PFT run my account
Yeah, it's in the works. I think it will happen here pretty soon. I probably bring the social media back and get back on there. [Big Cat and PFT running it] honestly might be the best ideas. I'm okay with that just like in game live tweeting as I'm standing on the sidelines.
They discussed the logistics of hair loss, the Wikipedia page for alopecia, and why a white helmet interior is the ultimate diagnostic tool for male pattern baldness. Blake seems to be loving life in LA, even if he's still figuring out his social circle and learning the finer points of Sean McVay's genius.
To wrap up the show, the guys took some listener questions on Guys on Chicks. The debate over pool etiquette got heated, but Big Cat has a very specific safety-related reason for why you should never get out of the water to find a bathroom.
Big CatPeeing in a pool is safer than getting out because it prevents slip-and-fall accidents
You're more likely to injure yourself getting out of a pool and getting back in than you are if you just stay in the pool and pee. If you walk through the house after being in a pool, you're creating an enormous slip and fall hazard... you're basically putting a gun to their head. So pee in that pool.
At least now we know why Blake Bortles looks so much faster: he's finally aerodynamic.
