No one in history has ever regretted getting a dog

No one regrets a dog. No, no ever that's facts.

Jon Gruden is the funniest coach in the NFL

Jon Gruden leads the league in being pumped... I fucking love them. I'm switching. We make fun of Jon Gruden. We make fun of the Raiders the whole hundred million dollar contract. I have switched. I want Jon Gruden to succeed because we need him in our lives for as long as possible.

The Antonio Brown helmet saga is officially exhausting

I am officially as well. So sick of Antonio Browns helmet. Yes, sick of the helmet but in love with the jumpsuit... just either find a helmet don't play with a helmet. I don't care. We might Riot if he continues to do the helmet stuff.

The WNBA badly mishandled its Finals scheduling

Instead of doing it in an arena where it's like a 5,000 capacity arena, they could have done it at the regular time. They chose to do 12:30 in the afternoon.

There is real tension between Jalen Brown and the Celtics

I don't think it's Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown really have personal beef. I think it's just, you know, Jalen Brown, Celtics, and that's turning into Jason Tatum in some ways. But I think there's definitely beef between Jalen Brown and the Celtics organization.

The Browns cannot make a serious playoff run

Could they make a run to the Super Bowl? No. Yes or no. Yeah. Think of the Browns. The Browns aren't good. We know the Browns aren't good.