No one in history has ever regretted getting a dog

No one regrets a dog. No, no ever that's facts.

Jon Gruden is the funniest coach in the NFL

Jon Gruden leads the league in being pumped... I fucking love them. I'm switching. We make fun of Jon Gruden. We make fun of the Raiders the whole hundred million dollar contract. I have switched. I want Jon Gruden to succeed because we need him in our lives for as long as possible.

The Antonio Brown helmet saga is officially exhausting

I am officially as well. So sick of Antonio Browns helmet. Yes, sick of the helmet but in love with the jumpsuit... just either find a helmet don't play with a helmet. I don't care. We might Riot if he continues to do the helmet stuff.

Shaving your head and growing a beard is the only move for balding men

Shave it and grow a beard... my thing was, which I held onto it for a while... and I finally got... I found this barber... He goes 'Dude you need to just shave your fucking head.' That's, yeah, I think you're right dude. It's tough. I shave it. It was just, you know, bullied me into shaving my head.

I quietly retired from the NFL and didn't tell anyone.

I did. I heard Hank mention that the other day and I appreciate that Hank, I have not touched a football since January. I quietly, I didn't tell anybody I retired. Probably just didn't tell anyone. So I guess you guys are kind of the first to hear it publicly.

Chris Simms is one of the people in sports media who hated me most

If there was one person that, that I don't even know, you know, who hated me... I would imagine like if you asked him, he would be like, 'Yeah, that guy sucked' was Chris Simms. [Simms] hated me. I saw, showed he me a list one time he ranked me as like the 47th best quarterback in the nfl and I was starting in Jacksonville.