Takes

James Dolan getting involved again will ruin the Knicks

This would make me nervous as a Knicks fan because James Dolan, they're like little run here where they've gotten back to being a good team. Feels like James Dolan took a step back. Now he's maybe taking a step back forward and he's a shithead owner that will ruin something.

Caitlin Clark might be secretly relieved to be left off the Olympic team

I think Caitlin Clark might have been a little bit relieved because she probably wouldn't have played that much. And she finally gets a little bit of a break from the take machine... she's been going since the college season... she finally gets a break.

I'm counting Anthony Edwards' dunk over John Collins as a real dunk even if the ball left his hand early

Was that a dunk? So all those dunks always inspiring. Yeah. When you, when you like zoom in, you're like, did the ball leave his hand beforehand, didn't touch the rim? I'm counting it as a dunk. Just 'cause I like cool sports moments like that where the world stopped to be like, did you see what Anthony Edwards just did?

Chris Paul's performance in Game 7 against the Mavericks was a 'legacy game'

Chris Paul had a major, major legacy post... He had like 10 points in that game seven where they lost by 70. That was a legacy game.

Giannis staying in Milwaukee is a major victory for NBA parity

I think this is actually great for the league. It's a win for the league because you have a little bit more parity. You have the small market teams like teams drafting a superstar and be able to hold on to them is important for the league.

Kyrie Irving is right that the NBA's return could distract from the Black Lives Matter movement

The thing I don't understand—I actually Kyrie's statement, I actually kind of agree with. Like his point is if you're—if we're pushing for something to radically change, the one thing you don't want to allow is for people to be like, 'can we just get back to normal?' because like when you're back to normal, it's easy way of just saying, 'Oh well, like we'll deal with that later.'

Knicks fans hating James Dolan even during a global pandemic proves they still have passion for the team

I would actually be worried for Knicks fans if they didn't have that reaction. It means that they still have sports hatred in their blood. They can still feel passion about the man that has given them some absolutely nothing for the last couple decades.

NBA draft workouts and team meetings are overrated

I think it's complete. The draft workouts and all that stuff, I think it's overrated. I kind of like that. Who knows? Maybe he's an awesome guy, and it's better to just not meet him.

The Knicks traded Porzingis for cap space they will definitely fail to use

The Knicks traded Kristaps to the Mavs... Basically, a cap space move... they are now going to try to go all in on Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, name any free agent, and the Knicks will be rumored to get them. And they won't get them because James Dolan is still the owner.

LeBron James should go to jail for giving his kids wine

Hot take, LeBron James should definitely go to jail, and this is the worst parenting move of all time, and I cannot believe that he is poisoning his children. I'm disgusted. I deleted my screensaver of LeBron James in a Lakers uniform, and I'll probably never watch NBA again.

Victor Oladipo will win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest

I'm going with [Victor] Oladipo. I have no reason why I'm doing it. I like saying his name.

Someone is going to be hungover during the NBA All-Star game

My prediction is someone's going to be hungover in that game. Yeah, every single person.

I hate the new NBA All-Star Game captain draft format

They're now making the all-star game where two captains pick the teams, which I fucking hate. I hate when they do this. My brain can't figure it out. I can't figure this shit out when you switch it all, when you swap it all off. They did it with the Pro Bowl, and Pro Bowl's never been the same.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have the worst hair of any team in NBA history

It just occurred to me, the Cavaliers are probably the NBA team with the worst hair of all time, and they're matched up against the team [Warriors] with the worst facial hair of all time.

Matthew Dellavedova signing with the Milwaukee Bucks is the perfect landing spot for his blue-collar style

The Bucks actually have a blue collar stitched on the inside of their jerseys... to show the embodiment of Milwaukee's working class roots. So this is like a perfect, perfect landing spot for [Dellavedova].

Tom Brady can't tell Kevin Durant what it's like to be a black superstar in Boston

And Tom Brady is going to be able to tell Kevin Durant what it's like to be a big black superstar in the city of Boston. Wait. No, wait, hold on.