A-Rod probably saved sports and the world by talking to President Trump

A-Rod probably saved sports and the world but I'm not bragging about it... Sports will probably be back before you even know because President Trump called up A-Rod on Friday night.

A-Rod used to buy three custom suits for every rookie on his team to teach them how to dress in the big leagues

A-Rod every year would buy every new player on the team, every rookie who was coming up, three new custom-made suits... he'd take them to his tailor, he'd buy them three suits and say 'this is how you have to dress, you're in the big leagues now kid.'

I could survive retirement if I were able to gamble on sports every night

I might never be able to retire because I'm like a worker bee that needs to be working... if I had the ability to still gamble on Sports at night? Would that keep me working enough? Because that just part that you have to pay your you have to pay your gambling debts... I think the answer is yes.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.