Takes

Brad Underwood is a great hire for Illinois

That is a great hire, man. That dude is a ball coach. He's offense... I think he's a great hire. Absolutely great hire for Illinois.

The 'head coach in waiting' model is dead at Syracuse now that Jim Boeheim has an extension

They just announced that [Jim] Boeheim gets another year. So Mike [Hopkins] said, you know what? I'm going back home... They just announced a contract extension for Boeheim. So Mike said, hey, I'm going back out west.

Gonzaga is a team of destiny because they absorbed Northwestern's power

I do believe in teams of destiny absorbing the teams they beat and their destiny... So they took out Northwestern, which was a true team of destiny, and they absorbed all that destiny. They're double the destiny.

Bob Huggins will have a heart attack in the finals because of the desert heat

Bob Huggins is going to have a heart attack during the game or at the end of the game. Leave it all out on the court, and they're going to win... And it's in the desert, too. Way too hot for Huggie Bear.

Vanderbilt's late-game foul against Northwestern was the dumbest move since Chris Webber's timeout

Northwestern advances on the dumbest foul since Chris Webber. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Dumbest move since Chris Webber called the timeout in the national championship game. Boneheaded, just complete brain fart. What happened, I'm sure you all saw, but Vanderbilt was up one and Matthew Fisher Davis decided to foul with 10 seconds left. 45 feet past half court from Northwestern's basket and they end up losing by one. Unbelievable move.

Northwestern is the greatest tournament team in college basketball history because they are undefeated

For a limited time, [Northwestern] are undefeated in tournament history. [They are the] best tournament team ever.

Tom Crean is a good coach, but his 'stupid face' makes it impossible to survive a bad season

I'm going to miss Tom Crean. I said it before he was getting fired. Unfortunately, what happened to Tom Crean, I don't think he's that bad of a coach. He's a pretty good recruiter. But if you have a bad season and you have a stupid fucking face, it's impossible to overcome that.

Tom Crean has actually won more Big Ten titles than Tom Izzo in the last 17 years

You've actually won more Big Ten titles than Tom Izzo has in the last 17 years. People forget, right?

Brad Stevens is definitely not going to the Indiana job

Maybe going back to Indiana. Dream job? I'm so excited for it because he's not going to go to Indiana. Anyone with a brain knows that. But it's going to get written. It's going to get some buzz.

SMU is very good and could go to the Sweet 16, Elite Eight, or even the Final Four

I got two picks for tomorrow for you. URI, Round of Pick'em, and SMU. I love SMU. I've loved SMU all year. I think they're a very good team. I think they could go to the Elite Eight or maybe Sweet 16, or Final Four.

I have Wisconsin in the Final Four

I also want to mention that I have Wisconsin in the Final Four. Like I said, unbiased journalism. Here is where it is at.

Wisconsin being an 8-seed is the worst injustice in college basketball history

This is the worst season of the tournament of my lifetime. This is the worst injustice in college basketball history. Wisconsin swept Minnesota. They finished second in the Big Ten in the regular season, and then they were the runner-ups in the Big Ten tournament. And then Minnesota gets a 5 seed, and Wisconsin got an 8 seed. I don't understand it.

Baylor is the biggest fraud team in the tournament

SMU... I pick them for two reasons. One, I just like them... And two, I think Baylor's the biggest fraud team in the tournament.

Duke isn't a good team, they just have good players

Duke is back to being back. But we're conveniently ignoring that Duke was down 15 in all these ACC tournament games... Duke is not a good team. They have good players, but they're not actually a good team. And SMU is a good team. So it wouldn't surprise me to see SMU win.

Gonzaga is the best team in the country

I actually like Gonzaga. I think Gonzaga's the best team in the country, and I know that's absolutely insane to say. I don't expect them to win at all, but I do think they're the best team and the most complete team.

I'm picking the winner of the Notre Dame-West Virginia game to reach the Final Four

Do you think I'm crazy to have the winner of the [Notre Dame-West Virginia] game in my Final Four? Because that's what I'm picking.

Louisville has scored 69 points more than any other program in tournament history

Louisville has scored 69 points in NCAA tournament more than any other program in the country... I swear to God, that's a fact. And then it gets even better... the program that has won the most games in college basketball history that has never scored 69 in the tournament is BYU.

Oklahoma State will beat Michigan

I like how the plane crash... negates like everything else we know about Michigan. This has become the story... Michigan beat some shitty Big Ten teams to win the tournament... and now we're going to pretend like they're actually a good team. I think Oklahoma State's going to win that game.

Rhode Island is the mid-major most likely to make noise in the tournament

I would say Rhode Island [is a team that can make some noise].

UCLA has no chance of making the Final Four

UNC, it feels like they're the most complete team in this region... but UCLA, there's no chance UCLA's going to the Final Four.

Indiana isn't playing NIT games at home because they don't want to show fans booing Tom Crean

The rumor is [Indiana] is not playing in the NIT at home because they don't want people to know that, they don't want to show people booing [Tom] Crean and they don't want to see the empty seats in Assembly Hall and stuff.

A 10-seed needs to win at least one game to 'make some noise' in the tournament

So, hey, there are a couple 10 seeds out there that could make some noise... We don't know what noise means, but it depends. It's like on a sliding scale, if a 15 seed comes within 10 points of beating a two seed, they made some noise... But if a 10 seed, they have to win at least one game to make some noise.

Darren Rovell is un-American for not filling out a March Madness bracket

Shout out Darren Rovell does not fill out a bracket. So that is a March Madness tradition for him telling the world that he doesn't fill out a bracket and he's un-American and basically a terrorist.

Wisconsin got screwed by the NCAA Tournament selection committee with an 8-seed

I am biased, but Wisconsin got fucked... they're an eight seed which I'm fine with because they haven't played well but Minnesota is a five seed and Wisconsin beat Minnesota two times this year.

The best betting strategy for March Madness is to always take the underdogs

Underdogs, underdogs, underdogs. [They're always barking.]

College athletes should be allowed to 'wet the beak' and get a cut of revenue when their names are on jerseys

I like seeing somebody naturally stick it each and every time to the NCAA when they can. Because the NCAA... they make $900 million at a minimum each and every year just off the TV rights to the tournament alone. That's worth having a conversation about. Let the kids wet the beak. Just a little bit. If I see my name on the back of a jersey multiple times in an arena that I'm playing at, just let me get a little bit of a taste of that.

Duke runs a guard-dominated offense because Coach K loves having the ball in guards' hands

Duke is a dominated guard offense. It's naturally what it is. K loves for the ball to be in the hands of guards. You see that with Luke Kennard, Grayson Allen, guards from the past as well... it's never been a staple of Duke to throw the ball down low and the big guy's going to get you 25 and 10. That's never been who they've been offensively.

Kansas is the most consistent team in the country, but I would pick Purdue to beat them in the tournament

I'm saying Kansas. See, I think Kansas is the most consistent team in the country. But if they get matched up against Purdue, I'll probably take Purdue in that ballgame. Because [Kansas has] no inside presence. That actually is really dumb of me to do because it is all about the matches.

Gonzaga will fail to reach the Final Four this year

Now I may lose a bet to Greenberg because I had a bet with Seth Greenberg before that they [Gonzaga] don't get the Final Four.

Chapel Hill was not a difficult place to play during my time at Duke

Chapel Hill wasn't difficult. I was undefeated in Chapel Hill. That wasn't a difficult place to play at all.

Northwestern basketball is annoying because journalists act like it's a plucky underdog story

Except for the fact that now we're going to get Greeny, Mike Wilbon, Rovell, all these fuckers shoving Northwestern plucky underdog down our throats. So I'm saying respect the fucking biz... We don't care about Northwestern basketball enough for you to tell us constantly.

The five-foul rule in college basketball is the dumbest rule in sports

Also, hot seat, the foul, five fouls in college. Everyone gets mad about that, including myself. I hate that rule. I think it's the dumbest thing ever.

Three-point shooting is a defense against biased home-court officiating

Shooting the three became a big part of getting us to a certain level... The one thing that can't be affected is the three-point shooting. If you're a team that's driving a ball to the basket all the time, you play at home, you might get some calls. You go on the road, you don't get those calls. You're dead.

The new Big East is the best league because it's a pure basketball league

It's the best league in college basketball. Those other leagues now, I think, are football leagues. And we are a pure basketball league.

Villanova is the only team I trust in college basketball this year

The field is wide open. I actually think the only team that I trust this year is Villanova, which is funny how the world has changed in the last couple years.

John Calipari will stay at Kentucky until he retires, then go into broadcasting or politics

I actually think he'll retire here and then he'll go into broadcasting. Or he talks about privately running for Senate. And I know that seems crazy, but I could totally see him in four years running against Mitch McConnell.

John Calipari needs a second national title to be considered a legendary coach

I actually do believe before he's done, if he's going to be one of the best, he's got to win two [titles]. Otherwise, he's a really good coach. But I do think it takes two to actually be like, consider one of the 15 best ever coach. ... what takes you from the you were a great coach to you were a legend is that second one.

Gonzaga will burn out in the NCAA tournament like they always do

Gonzaga's going to be fun to watch when they burn out in the tournament. I know that every other Gonzaga team just made their bones by beating up little high school teams in front of 2,000 people... this Gonzaga team is [supposedly] different [but they will burn out].

Gonzaga will not lose another game before the NCAA tournament

No, they're not going to lose. They're not going to lose again. People are waiting to shit on Gonzaga so hard. Right. You know what? This is Gonzaga's year.

Duke will lose in the second round of the NCAA tournament because they shoot too many threes

Duke... they're going to lose in the second round because they're going to shoot a million threes and miss. That's exactly what I said.

Luke Kennard is so good that it makes me hate him even more

Luke Kennard, though, is awesome, and I'm not saying that just because he can dribble behind his back. I hate how good he is. I can't hate him because he's so good, which makes me hate him even more.

John Calipari will leave Kentucky for the Pelicans to escape looming NCAA sanctions

He needs to get out of town, needs to go to the NBA... The NCAA sanctions are about to hit Kentucky. That's a fact. I'm just calling that right now. So he needs to get out of town, needs to go to the NBA... Be a perfect fit for the Pelicans. You've got two of his best players from college that are playing there.

UConn's women's basketball team wins so much because they sync up their periods and bond

I actually think that if this game were being played 300 years ago, they would be accused of being witches... Nobody has ever won 100 games until these women, but I think it's because men's teams don't have periods that they can sync up. Same wavelength. That's why women are able to become better teammates than men because the entire team gets on their [period]. They get to basically do trust falls six or seven times a season when they're all on their periods together. It's a bonding experience.

Lawrence, Kansas is a great everything-else town, but college sports is on the back burner

I don't think that necessarily [Lawrence is] a bad sports town. I just think that they're a great everything else town. And, you know, they keep it in the right perspective, and college sports is on the back burner.

Short, tighter shorts are making a major comeback in college basketball

The bagginess has gotten way too far. It's getting in the way of the dribbles. These guys like to go between their legs a lot, you know, with these new players out there. So they're bringing back short, tighter shorts. A couple guys in Indiana are doing it. I've seen it across the Big East, too, I think. So we're going to see a major swing here. Get out in front of this. If you're a college basketball player, tighten those things up.

Tom Crean will be hired by another team specifically because he has a 'contentable' face

Tom Crean, he will get fired by Indiana sooner rather than later. But someone will hire him simply because of his face. He's got a brand. Crean has a contentable face. He has an exceptionally stupid-looking face. And that in itself, that's a brand that people will be like, oh, wow, where is Tom Crean coaching? He can go coach the Missouri Valley, and people will now be watching Missouri Valley games because of his name and his face.

The UConn women's basketball winning streak is bad for the sport

Is UConn women's basketball bad for the sport? Because they're about to get 100 wins in a row. Love it. So we're getting that conversation back. Can they beat Alabama? Going right back into the swing of things in sports.

Duke will make a deep tournament run and possibly win the national title

This is a classic. Duke is going to make a run and then maybe win the national title. I'm going to hate everything.

Coach K took a leave of absence just to create 'adversity' as an excuse for Duke potentially failing

I figured it out. Duke was the favorite to win the national title. ... Coach K just added his own little adversity, so when he ultimately fails this season and doesn't coach them to a national title, he said, well, I dealt with a lot of outside things this year.

Shaka Smart having an assistant hold a paint can to remind players to stay in the paint is a good move

You know, we make fun of a lot of things and we kind of have a good time on this podcast, but I actually buy this move. Full on. That is like a literal, you know, get into the paint while a guy's flashing a can of paint in your face. You remember to get in the paint.