Takes

Brock Purdy is a top five quarterback in the NFL

My overly direct take... Brock Purdy this year is a top five quarterback in the NFL. I like it. Top five. I think he's number five in the NFL right now... If he gets to a Super Bowl, I'm gonna say it. Brock Purdy might be elite.

The Packers are going to kick the shit out of the Raiders on Monday night

My overly direct take is Monday Night Football. I hate betting on this team, but I think the Packers are gonna kick the shit outta the Raiders.

Mac Jones will be benched by Halloween

My overly direct take... is that Mac Jones will be benched before Halloween. Just benched. For Bailey Zappy maybe.

Ron Rivera should never be called 'Riverboat Ron' again

Ron Rivera just kicked another field goal. The Bears have won. He loves field goals. That guy loves field goals, so we should never ever call him riverboat Ron again after this game and the game against the Eagles, he's, he's lost riverboat Ron. He's no longer riverboat. Ron.

The Bears are going to go 4-1 over their next five games

I did look at the schedule coming up and I've convinced myself they could potentially go four and one in the next five... Vikings, Raiders, chargers, saints, Panthers. And I was like, that could be four and one.

Brock Purdy is an MVP candidate

Should we be talking about Brock Purdy MVP Watch? If you look at his stats right now, Brock Purdy has MVP level stats right now. That's all I'm saying. He's the number one quarterback in the entire NFL in yards per attempt.

The Rams will finish with over 7.5 wins this season

I've launched a nuclear missile on the Rams season win total. It's over seven and a half right now... They've got two wins already. They play a lot of winnable games for the remainder of the year. It was minus one 14. It's my biggest bet of the season so far.

The Broncos' offensive success is a result of playing terrible defenses

Is there a chance that Russell Wilson, he's looked better, but he has not played a good defense? ...he played the Raiders, bad defense. Commanders, bad defense. Dolphins, bad defense. And then last week they played the Bears, the worst defense. So is there a chance that we see bad Russ here against the Jets defense?

Daniel Jones is not a franchise quarterback for the Giants

Eli [Manning] had a fucking arm. What are you talking about comparing Daniel Jones? Jones actually plays like the way racists talk about black quarterbacks. All he can do is run... I have a hard time watching Daniel Jones. He was at the Comedy Cellar one night and I was like, I don't even care. That's a bad level that he's my starting quarterback.

Daniel Jones is officially 'Ass'

The official prognosis coming out of [Monday Night Football] is I think medically speaking, Daniel Jones's Ass.

Drew Lock will eventually make five Pro Bowls

I still believe in Drew Lock. I think I had a take that he would make five Pro Bowls on this show. So you're never wrong about a take until you give up on it. Let that be a lesson to the Giants fans out there. Yes. I still think Drew Lock could possibly make five Pro Bowls.

Trent Williams should be spoken of in the same manner as Aaron Donald

Trent Williams... is a cheat code for the Niners. Yeah, he should be spoken of in the same manner as Aaron Donald.

Taylor Swift probably thinks Zach Wilson is the greatest quarterback of all time

If Taylor Swift, this is her second football game she's ever been to know of, she probably thinks that Zach Wilson is the greatest quarterback of all time. 'Cause he is outplaying Patrick Mahomes.

I will buy into every weird drug and science Aaron Rodgers does if he returns to play this season

If Aaron Rodgers plays football in this season, I will buy whatever drugs in every weird thing that he does immediately... I will, I will essentially just my entire life I'll be like, you know what? I was wrong. His science [might be right].

Desmond Ridder sucks

Desmond Ridder sucks. It's, it's the truth. Like the Falcons are built a certain way that you can't have a quarterback throw interceptions, and it is painful to watch their offense sometimes.

The Buffalo Bills' championship window is wide open

I think the Window's wide open. They've got, they've got like years of the window. They're, they're gonna be fine. Josh [Allen] will be fine. He stinks against the Jets. It was a shitty game. He played awful that game... the Bills are gonna get better.

The Commanders will win 10 games this season

I think, I think the Commanders will win 10 games this season. I think they're on track for 10. We, I would've liked to have this one [vs Eagles] going into Philly.

Joe Burrow is too injured to be playing right now and the Bengals should sit him

He's [Burrow] injured. He's very injured. He has sucked this year... He is a tough ass dude that has a lot of pride. But at some point, like maybe try to get healthy and, and sneak into a wild card spot because right now it doesn't look good... I would take the keys out of his hand.

Matt Eberflus is a bonehead and a bad coach

Matt Eberflus is the reason why the Bears lost. Matt Eberflus is a fucking bonehead idiot and a bad coach... He's not a head coach. He is an absolute cluster fuck... He has no idea how to answer questions. He has no idea how to deal with the locker room.

Mac Jones is bad and it is time for the Patriots to move on

Mac Jones is bad. Mac Jones is not the guy... They looked hopeless... I think it's time to move on. It's time... You can't get worse than the worst loss in Belichick's career. I'd rather do that with Zappe. Mac Jones, it's time to go.

Christian McCaffrey should be the NFL MVP

I think Christian McCaffrey should be the MVP... Could we have a running back that's the MVP of the league? Yeah. He's on pace for nearly 2000 yards... If the Saturday before the Super Bowl was today, Christian McCaffrey would win MVP.

Brock Purdy is a top 10 quarterback in the NFL

He is a top 10 quarterback... I think Brock Purdy's a top 10 quarterback in the National Football League in 2023. Say it, everyone say it with their chest... I feel confident in saying this as of right now.

The Detroit Lions are for real

The Detroit Lions are for real. They go into Lambeau, they punch the Packers in the mouth. David Montgomery was absolutely unstoppable. They've gone to Arrowhead, they've gone to Lambeau, they won both games as road teams and they are looking great.

You must fade any team the week after they score 70 points

I might just put this in my gambling portfolio: any team that scores 70, fade them the next week. If you score 70 points in a game on 71 plays, you can't tell me you don't go into the facility the next day like, 'We're the best, we'll just run the same plays.'

Defense wins championships

Defense wins championships. I'll go to my grave thinking that. The Bucs defense smothered Patrick Mahomes [in the Super Bowl]. That was completely a defensive effort. The Patriots' last Super Bowl was a defensive effort when they stopped the Rams.

The Eagles will beat the Commanders by 25 points

Congrats Max. I'm just going to give it to you. 25 point win for the Eagles this week. The defensive line is going to eat. I blame 40% on the offensive line, 40% on Sam Howell, and then 20% on Tony P in DC.

Jameis Winston is the greatest quarterback in Buccaneers history

Jameis Winston holds all the records for the Bucs. He holds the yards record, the touchdowns record, the completions record. He's the greatest quarterback in Bucs history.

I want Jim Harbaugh to coach the Bears and draft Caleb Williams

I want Caleb Williams. I have said the names Caleb Williams and Jim Harbaugh probably a hundred times in the last four days. I want to bring back man football. Let Jim Harbaugh just stuff all the dorks in Halas Hall into a locker and just go back to being a man football team.

The Chiefs will throttle the Jets because Taylor Swift is attending

Chiefs are going to fucking throttle them. The fact that Taylor Swift is going, the chiefs are going to fucking throttle them. And the chief's defense has not been talked about, has been very good this year.

Justin Fields is finished as the quarterback in Chicago

It's over. Because I think we've seen a big enough sample size to know that there hasn't been enough improvement to say I want to see more. Justin Fields struggles to make layups and free throws. If you can't make the layups and the free throws, I'm not concerned that you can make the Alley-OOP dunk. Anytime a quarterback is living by running a football, that quarterback can't survive.

The way to stop the 'Tush Push' is to physically assault the quarterback

How do you stop it? It's really simple. The defensive tackles have to get down very, very low and take out those offensive linemen. And then you have to have linebackers that are willing to come over the top with forearms and elbows and just go right at the quarterback. You have to physically hit the dude. If you bring bodily harm, then he'll tell his coach, 'Hey man, we might want to cancel that.'

Mac Jones is a dirty player who ending fights by hitting guys in the crotch

I don't even know how as a teammate to respond to Mac. Are you okay? Guys who do that usually are guys that if a real fight broke out, they can't win. So they're looking for a way to end the fight early. Mack has probably been in a couple fights and the way he ended those fights early, he just kind of gave the guy a nice little four fingers and a thumb to the place that no guy wants to get it.

The San Francisco 49ers will win the Super Bowl

Super Bowl Champ: San Francisco 49ers. It is going to be an amazing thing to see Deebo and Trent Williams walk out next to the dude with the big boombox at the Super Bowl.

The NFL should not ban the 'tush push' play

I love the tush push. I think if you don't like it, then stop it. Figure out a way to stop it until then. If you don't like it, you can either try to figure out how to make teams stop doing it to you or do it yourself.

The Eagles would still be 97% successful on the tush push if it were banned

I actually think that if they ban this play, I think the Eagles will still do it. And it will go from like 99% success to like 97% success... 90% of the time [Jalen Hurts] is getting those yards himself.

Caleb Williams is the most 'can't-miss' QB prospect since Andrew Luck

Caleb Williams is the most can't miss since Trevor Lawrence or Andrew Luck... Because the man makes magic. Mahomes-esque. Very, very similar. Different arm angles that sort of thing.

The New York Jets should trade for Kirk Cousins

If you're the Jets, you gotta at least make a call about Kirk Cousins right now. I know they probably won't do it, but you have to ask the question... the Vikings have to admit, like, right now you're rebuilding.

Mike McDaniel should have kicked a field goal to break the NFL scoring record

Mike McDaniel should've kicked the field goal at the end of the game. This is chicken shit by McDaniel. I get you want like karma on your side... He should've kicked a field goal to score 73 points. Bullshit that he... it's more disrespectful to the Broncos that they just took a knee.

The Dolphins offense is only stoppable by injuries or cold weather

What can stop [the Dolphins]? The only two things that come to my mind are injuries, which you never wanna see happen, and cold weather. You just have to, if you're a team in the AFC, you gotta be like, hopefully it gets so cold that they can't do this.

Justin Tucker is washed up

I think Justin Tucker's washed up. He missed a 61 yard field goal. Everybody thought it was in... but yeah, it was like a yard short. He's washed up.

Derrick Henry has officially hit 'the cliff'

Derek Henry, I think today was his 1800th carry... it bums me out to even say this, but part of me thinks that it might be happening... he doesn't have the same pop. I hate that I have to even bring it up, but I feel like the cliff might be here.

Andy Dalton is currently better than Bryce Young

Andy Dalton can still play... and I think the Panthers were live in this game and I think it was because of Andy Dalton. Like, again, I'm taking the long-term approach for Bryce Young, but Andy Dalton is better than Bryce Young right now. Like that, that's just a fact.

Mark Davis hired Josh McDaniels to get Tom Brady's help with inheritance taxes

Mark Davis, we all know that he's probably not gonna be able to afford the inheritance tax on the Raiders... Do you think that he hired Josh McDaniels as the head coach to get Tom Brady involved in the ownership group so that Tom Brady could then contribute to the tax bill when the time comes?

The 2023 Chicago Bears will go 0-17

My overly direct take is that the Bears are gonna go oh and 17.

The Chicago Bears will have the first and second picks in the 2024 NFL Draft

I think the Bears might have the first and second pick in the draft. That's my overly direct take.

Russell Wilson will be benched this year

I also have a direct take, overly direct take. I think Russell Wilson will get benched this year. I do, I do. Sean Payton has no allegiance to him.

The Dolphins are guaranteed an AFC Championship spot if Tua stays healthy

My overly direct take is that if Tua Tagovailoa stays healthy, his Dolphins are guaranteed a spot in the AFC Championship. Guaranteed. If he stays healthy, fully healthy. If he doesn't miss any games.

Brock Purdy is more than just a system quarterback

I still like Brock. I think he's better than just a system guy.

The Cowboys and 49ers might be the two best teams in the NFC

The Giants just had to play the Cowboys and the 49ers, which might be the two best teams in the NFC, might be the two best teams in the NFC.

The 49ers would win the Super Bowl if it were played today

If the Super Bowl were today, do you think that the 49ers would win it? Yes, I think so too. I think that they were the best team in the NFL today.