Takes

Weather is not real and the Bills vs. Dolphins game will go over the total

Hank weather isn't real. Also over 44... This is going way over. I'm a big believer in, it's one thing I know... Saturday night. Great game weather doesn't matter. This is going way over.

The Minnesota Vikings are absolute frauds

I'll tell you why. Billy, let me take you to school real quick. You wanna hear some cold hard facts? Out of every single team to ever be 10 and 2 since the 1970 merger... the Vikings are by far and dead last for point differential. Their point differential is three times smaller than the second worst team. The Vikings, they're frauds.

Removing ping pong tables from the locker room makes the Bengals a lock to beat the Browns

This is a ping pong table game for Cincinnati. No distractions. I'm a big believer in ping pong tables. If you, it doesn't matter if you put the ping pong tables into the locker room or if you take them out of the locker room, if you're moving a ping pong table around that week, I will bet on your team.

The Buccaneers will cover against the 49ers because Tom Brady is an underdog to Brock Purdy

I'm taking the Buccaneers plus three and a half against the 49ers. Obviously we broke down this game earlier, but if you look at it from a basic perspective, Tom Brady's an underdog against Brock Purdy. That's the only reason I'm doing it. Purdy verse Tom Brady and he's a favorite by more than a field goal. So stupid.

The Chargers are the worst tackling team in the NFL

I think the Chargers might be the worst tackling team in the NFL. They just don't tackle. I feel like every Chargers game you'll just watch guys just running around like broken plays. Guys not being able to get tackled.

The Dallas Cowboys might actually win the Super Bowl this year

By the way, are the Cowboys gonna win the Super Bowl? I think that the Dallas Cowboys might win the Super Bowl. I think Jerry Jones is ready to die. I honestly think that he's like making no chance. He wants to live forever. He is ready to die and I'm telling you, I think he might will this team to win a Super Bowl so that he can finally just pass away.

Kyler Murray's biggest problem is that he is fundamentally a baseball player

Not to be Colin Coward here, but I feel like Kyle and Murray's biggest problem is he's a baseball player. Baseball players, they care about themselves. They have individual accolades. Football is a team sport. Kyle Murray's a baseball player.

Mike White's ceiling is Tom Brady

So I like Mike. His ceiling is Tom Brady. I said this when he got his ceiling is Tom Brady.

The Lions will destroy the Jaguars in Week 13

Give the lions minus three. Whoa. I The lions minus three. I'm putting 'em on the table right now. It's not gonna happen. Love that outta the lines are gonna destroy him.

The Chiefs will have a 'double revenge' game and beat the Bengals

The Kansas City Chiefs double revenge minus two double revenge spot. Double revenge means something. The chiefs are going for double revenge. Last year they lost in the regular season and AFC championship game. I think this is the best the chiefs are going to look all season. Is this weekend on Sunday?

Deshaun Watson will be rusty and the Texans will cover +7

Texans plus seven Dashaun Watson's coming back. He is playing his first game of football since January 3rd, 2021. That's essentially two years. In between football games. That's a long time. It's a long time to not play football. Yes.

Tom Brady is coming back to play for the Patriots next season

I'm kind of, I'm I'm back on Brady. You don't think the reason they left is cuz Giselle. He missed you the entire time. If Brady wants to come back, like that's, that's really all it is. Basically. They have the cap space to do it if they want to, which I'm sure they would. And I'm sure Tom wants to come back.

The Patriots will beat the Vikings on Thanksgiving because Minnesota was looking ahead

I'm taking Patriots money line... I think this is gonna be a shootout. Two great teams. Vikings, Kirk Cousins elite. They're gonna have a bounce back game after, you know, got a little bit caught off guard. A little bit of a trap game knowing that they had this game coming up on Thanksgiving. Kind of a look ahead and I think Mac Jones gonna ball out again.

The Commanders will get the 7th seed and lose to Kirk Cousins in the playoffs

I realized what's going to happen. [The Commanders] are gonna be the 7th seed. I'm gonna play against Kirk Cousins in the first round and he is gonna whoop the dog shit outta me. Yes. That's what's gonna happen in the playoffs.

Tom Brady will come back from the bye and lead the Bucs to a hot streak

My favorite, favorite... I do feel like Tom Brady's bye and he's gonna come back and he's, they're gonna rattle off some wins and everyone's gonna be like, watch out for Tom Brady... I think it starts with the Browns minus three and a half.

The Broncos and Panthers will go under 36 points

Broncos Panthers under 36. It is very low. Very low... The Broncos though are nine and one to the under and their unders have been like under 40 in like the last four or five weeks. So it, they just can't score. And they have a good defense.

The Commanders will beat the Texans by more than 3.5 points

Commanders minus three and a half. Personal. Thank you. Revenge game.

The Cowboys will beat the Vikings

My favorite favorite also groans for me to say these words out of my mouth is Cowboys minus one and a half.

The Patriots will beat the Jets at home

My favorite favorite, I'm gonna take the Patriots minus three and a half... Home against the Jets. 34 out of the last 40 games have been won by the Patriots against these Jets.

The Bills will beat the Browns by more than 7.5 points

Bills by seven and a half... I think that him [Josh Allen] in a dome, he's gonna be more comfortable... the Bills need a confidence game. And confidence games usually end up in beating up on the other team.

The Steelers will cover +4 against the Bengals

My underdog is Steelers plus four against the Bengals. TJ Watt had a monster game until he got hurt the first time... I'm basically betting on TJ Watt to just harass Joe Burrow all afternoon.

The Eagles and Colts will go over 45 total points

I am going to take that over 45. I'm doing it because the Eagles cannot stop the run right now without Jordan Davis. I also am doing it because I do think the Eagles offense is gonna have a bounce back.

The Broncos and Raiders game will end in a tie

I think I'm gonna bet on a tie... You have to bet on a tie. It's been so wrong all year. You have to bet on a tie... Plus 1500.

The Packers will cover +5 against the Cowboys because they are at rock bottom

I don't know if the Packers are gonna win this game, but I feel like they're gonna cover it because you can't get lower. Like they, they are as low as possible in terms of a stock and even that Lion's game. Like they probably should have won that Lions game by a couple touchdowns.

The Buccaneers will cover against the Seahawks in Germany because of the defense

I'm going with the Bucks. ... The Bucks. It's not never a bet on Tom Brady. The relapsing, It's a bet on their defense. I still think their defense is very good. I think their defense give the Seahawks a lot of problems.

There is an 80% chance the over hits in the Bills vs. Vikings game if Josh Allen plays

It's a mathematical almost certainty this hits, I put it at 80%. Wow. That the over hits. And here's why... if Josh Allen plays in this game over 44 is a guaranteed winner.

Joe Burrow is a lock to cover after losing to the Browns

Joe Burrow is four and oh against the spread after losing to the Browns. Cause he always loses the Browns. So he bounces back. So go go with Joe Burrow there. Trust in Joe.

Aaron Rodgers is legitimately bad right now and it is not a fluke

I think that this is like, it's not a fluke that [Aaron Rogers] sucks right now. If he wants to, this is a perfect excuse for him. Just be like, 'Yeah, my thumb is extreme. The doctor said that he is never seen a worse thumb than mine.'

Never bet on Tom Brady in a night game

The Tom Brady day verse night thing is very real and he is old. And so since he's gone to the Bucs, he's 22 and 12 against the spread at daytime and he's two and 11 against the spread at nighttime. So we gotta just make sure we never bet on Tom Brady at night again.

Teams that play the Panthers lose their following game

Do you know that teams that play the Panthers the next week, they're 0-7. Every team that's played the Panthers the following week, they lose their next game... You either you get beaten up by them and you're still sore going to the next game or they're just so bad that you think that this is what NFL football is like.

Cliff Kingsbury is officially a dead man walking at Arizona

It's so clear that Cliff Kingsbury's getting fired. I mean, the minute that Kyler Murray yelled at him on the sideline, like, I don't know. That's, I know they'll say like, 'Oh that's just football. We're just angry.' Doesn't feel that way.

Zach Wilson is 'overqualified' for the NFL and that's why he struggles

The guy is so capable of throwing absolute bombs and dimes that when he can't and has to make the start decision and not make a gigantic play... he's so talented that he doesn't like other... people with less talented arms work on being game managers. They can't do what he does. He's almost, they need to create a new football league, a better football league that he could play in because he's too good for the NFL.

Zach Wilson will be befuddled by the Patriots defense this weekend

I wanna talk about the Patriot's defense because the Patriot's defense I think is going to befuddle. Zach Wilson. Zach Wilson's gonna be befuddled this weekend. And the Jacks, he's gonna be so confused. Belichick knows how to fuck with befuddled quarterbacks.

Kyle Shanahan owns Sean McVay

I assume that was who you're gonna be if you were basic. Yeah, no, I agree with you. But also at some point, I feel like every time this happens... we've known for a while that Shanahan owns McVay. He's eight and four against McVay overall. Straight up.

Sam Ehlinger is mobile enough to light up the Commanders offense

I'm going Colts minus three over the commanders... Sam Ehlinger, I think he's a mobile quarterback enough to light up an offense. We see these mobile quarterbacks getting first downs, extending drives. I think the Colts gonna have the fire in their belly.

Pete Carroll is not a good in-game coach

I feel like D'Amico is a very good endgame coach. And Pete Carroll, I don't think is a very good in game coach. I think Pete Carroll is, he has got a lot of strengths, but in terms of adjustments and being strategic with things like challenges, time out, stuff like that. He's not even in my top 10.

Jaguars vs. Broncos in London will be a shootout

Taking the over 39 and a half Jaguars, Broncos... I think it's gonna be a shootout. Pre-season, everyone loved the Broncos. Jaguars saying they're one of the most fun teams. Explosive teams.

The Jaguars being 3-point favorites over the Giants is a trap line

Take the Jaguars minus three, the line makes no sense. Yep. Yep. Zero sense whatsoever. That's Vegas being like, take the Giants, they want you to take the giants, which means the jaguar's gonna win win handily. Don't fall for the trap. Take the jaguars.

The Jaguars have never had a good tight end in their franchise history

I don't think the Jaguars have ever had a good tight end ever. Yeah. Like Mercedes Lewis. Lewis is the only one I could think of. But when he was on the Jaguars, I think he was just mostly a blocking tight end... The Jaguars have never had a good tight end ever.

I will buy Colts season tickets if Jim Irsay forces Dan Snyder to sell the Commanders

I've decided, you know, we talked about like, I would become a Colts fan if Jim Irsay was the straw that broke the camel's back. Yep. I'm gonna buy season tickets to the Colts next year. Wow. If, if, if Jim Irsay can get down out the fuck out, I'm gonna be a Colts season ticket holder.

The Packers will have a statement win and run up the score against the Commanders

I do think the Packers are gonna use statement when they're gonna run up the score. It's gonna be one of those things. If it's like close, they're not gonna let up. They're just gonna keep running it up.

The winner of Titans vs. Colts will win the AFC South

I think if the Titans win this game, I'm ready to declare the Titans the winner that division... I'm ready. Whoever wins this game will win this division.

The Baltimore Ravens will win by 20 and the regression starts this week for the Giants and Jets

I think everyone's riding high on the Giants and the Jets. Honestly, I think maybe it's biased just living in New York and hearing the excitement... I don't think it's gonna happen. I think the regression starts this week. The Ravens win by 20.

I'm taking the Rams -10 because the Panthers are in a dark place

I'm taking the Rams. It's a lot of points minus 10, but I feel like the Panthers are just in a dark place right now. I'm not seeing an interim coach bump for them... it's a get back game for Sean McVay.

The Bengals are just not a good team right now

I don't think the Bengals are good and it's, maybe they'll figure it out, but right now I just don't think they're playing good football... nothing looks easy for them.

The Cardinals vs. Seahawks game will be a high-scoring shootout

My favorite over is Cardinals Seahawks over 51... This to me just screams shootout. It does 51 points over.

The Bills will destroy the Steelers and Kenny Pickett in his first start

I am going with the Buffalo Bills. Okay. I think if Mitch [Trubisky] was playing, it's a different story... But it's Kenny Pickett. He's a rookie. He's gonna get destroyed by that defense.

Tom Brady will demolish the Falcons to avoid a three-game losing streak

My favorite is the Bucks minus nine against the Falcons at home... Tom Brady has not had a three game losing streak since 2002... He's 10 and oh against the Falcons... He's going to demolish the Falcons.

The Giants will cover the +8 spread against the Packers in London

I'm gonna go with the New York Giants. Ooh. Packers have not looked good this year. They haven't. It's they're plus eight. They almost got beat by Patriots. Bailey Zappe. They didn't let 'em throw and they still almost lost the game. I don't think they're gonna win this game by eight points.

The Falcons aren't as bad as people think they are

I also just like the Falcons at home, I've kind of a hot take on the Falcons. I actually don't think they're that bad. Their offense is fun. So they're not that bad. I've got a new tier for the Falcons in your power rankings. It's just 'they're not that bad.' They're not as bad as you think they are because their offense when they do get the ball to their playmakers, they're actually scoring a shitload of points.