Takes

Any head coach who goes 0-16 should be permanently disqualified from coaching again

I personally think if you go 0-16 as an NFL head coach, you should be permanently disqualified from ever being a head coach again for any team.

The Jaguars have the ingredients to win in New England or Pittsburgh in January

I think this is a team that could win in New England in the divisional round, it could win in Pittsburgh in the divisional round, and it could keep the AFC championship game from happening... It's a Florida team that has all the ingredients to play in the elements in January.

Thomas Davis will not be suspended for his hit on Davante Adams because it wasn't in primetime

Same hit that Juju Smith-Schuster put on Vontaze Burfict. But because that game today didn't happen in primetime, they're not going to suspend Thomas Davis. That's my prediction.

Bill Belichick will have Alex Guerrero killed within two years of Tom Brady retiring

Bill Belichick is going to have Guerrero killed within probably two years of Brady retiring. He knows too much.

The Patriots will beat the Steelers in Week 15

Everyone's talking about the Patriots-Steelers game. And I'm saying, hmm, the Steelers, like, everyone's healthy. Le'Veon Bell's healthy. They could probably beat the Patriots. Don't overthink it. Patriots are probably going to win.

Mike Tomlin is not a good coach

I also think there's never been a more marquee matchup in the last decade where teams have met up in big games and the coaching disparity is more stark between Mike Tomlin and Bill Belichick. [Big Cat: Wait, so you're saying that you don't think that Mike Tomlin's a good coach at all?] No, I do not.

Aaron Rodgers will beat the Panthers in his return from injury

Packers-Panthers. Aaron Rodgers back. Everyone's saying, well, he's rusty. I'm not overthinking it. Aaron Rodgers is going to win this game.

The Seahawks will beat the Rams at home in December

Rams-Seahawks. Again, don't overthink it because I love the Rams. I love Jared Goff. But the Seahawks don't lose at home in December. No. They do not... Not against the quarterback caliber of Jared Goff.

The Chiefs will beat the Chargers at home

Chargers Chiefs. The hottest team in the league. Chiefs at home. Yes, yes. As much as I love the Chargers. No, because I'm doing the old close your eyes and think about what's most likely going to happen, and it's going to be cold, it's going to be loud... Phillip Rivers is going to be down a score and doing his thing... It's not going to work.

I am a Hall of Famer because I was the best ever at my position

Of course I do [think I'm a Hall of Famer], man. I always look at the Hall of Fame. I think the Hall of Fame should be judged off the best player at that position. That's it... When you look at the best player at every position that's in the Hall of Fame right now, they're the best player at their position.

Russell Wilson is better than Matthew Stafford because Stafford was drafted higher

I actually came up with a couple reasons why I might agree with [Andy Benoit]. Number one, Stafford was drafted first overall. So Russell Wilson was in the third round. This is called the Kevin White law. If you're saying that Russell Wilson is better, then that's a slap in the face to all the people that do mock drafts... Number two, he gets paid more. Matt Stafford gets paid more. So are you saying that capitalism is a flawed system?

Tom Brady was affected by a 'boat curse' the night before the Dolphins game

I think it's more likely that Tom Brady was on a boat down in Miami the night before the game, got the old boat curse going, than it was that he's actually getting too old to play well.

The Dolphins game was Jay Cutler's one annual game where he looks elite

That was the Jay Cutler performance. And I know that all Bears fans know this. That was the one game he throws out a year where you're like, this guy's fucking good.

The Chargers will sneak into the 2017 playoffs

I think the Chargers will probably sneak in. There's not one team I can be like, you know what? They could probably make a run, which I don't think we've had that in a really long time.

The Jaguars are going to make the 2017 AFC Championship Game

I'm going out on a limb. I think that the Jaguars are making the AFC Championship. They have that right mix where it's like they have a great defense. If they just run the ball, let Blake [Bortles] be Blake.

The Falcons are a 'lurker' team that knows how to win ugly and can make a deep run

I think we haven't heard the last of Dan Quinn in the Falcons. I feel like they're the lurker. You know what I mean? The team, it's like they have all the pieces, and they've played really shitty and survived... They would know how to win ugly.

The Seahawks are the sorriest losers in the NFL

The Seahawks, though, can we just say that they're the sorriest losers of all time? That team, I don't know why they get a pass... That team is a fucking bunch of babies.

Colt McCoy is 75% of the quarterback Kirk Cousins is

I think Colt McCoy is about 75% of what Kirk Cousins is. So that's like... 40% of a franchise quarterback.

I could still play as a backup in the NFL if I didn't have to take hits

I'm very realistic, man. You know what? I can still throw it. I can drop. I can do all those things. I don't know if I can take that hit anymore. That physical part of actually those 300-plus pounders bringing down your neck, that's a whole different story.

The Eagles should simplify the game for Nick Foles by focusing on the running game

I think with Nick, I think there are certain things that they're going to probably focus more on with him... And I think that will be more so on the running game... You create matchup opportunities where it simplifies the game for Nick Foles.

Terrell Owens is a 'no-doubt' Hall of Famer

Yeah, I mean, hey, that's the decision of the voters and the writers... But, hey, the guy has put up the statistics that leave him in the conversation with the top two, three receivers ever in the National Football League... It's just a matter of time.

Jeff Fisher failed his quarterbacks by not providing expert coaching

Definitely not a whisperer, you know. I think quarterbacks were dying when they went out and played under him, unfortunately. And I think a lot of it was because he didn't surround them with the necessary expertise from a coaching standpoint.

I have a valid Hall of Fame case when combining my NFL and CFL stats

As much as I think when you combine my entire career and you really bring in the CFL statistics as well... you can look at Troy Aikman's stats and you can look at my stats. And they're very similar. But Troy has three Super Bowl titles.

The Chargers will be the best team to not make the playoffs

The [LA] Chargers might be the hottest team in the NFL right now... ever since I said they were going to be the best team to not make the playoffs and you guys laughed. The Raiders probably will be the best team to not make the playoffs [initially], but I was so right. This Chargers team not only is their schedule cupcakes, but they are balling.

The Chargers are going to make the playoffs

I am sorry about the Raiders comment, but you were very wrong about the Chargers comment because they are going to make the playoffs.

The NFC Championship will be Vikings vs. Packers

Aaron Rodgers isn't even going to play this season, and he's going to somehow get to the NFC Championship game... It's going to be Vikings-Packers for my real personal hell.

Jeff Fisher is a quarterback whisperer

Jeff Fisher is back in a big way because all of his quarterbacks are shining right now... Jared Goff just killing out in L.A... Number two is Case Keenum. He's back. Nick Foles. Playing well... He's a quarterback whisperer. He's like Johnny Appleseed. He's just going around and he plants all his little quarterback seeds. And then in like, you know, three to four years when he gets fired. They all just sprout into big trees.

The Jaguars season is AFC Championship or bust

We're at the point now, the defense is so good... It's AFC Championship or bust.

Blake Bortles is a top 5 quarterback in the NFL

Name five better. Go ahead, Hank. Give us your top five quarterbacks right now. Tom Brady, Jared Goff, Blake Bortles, and then the list dramatically falls off after that.

Matt Ryan fucking stinks

what we learned is everyone's fantasy teams went down the tubes during the playoffs and Matt Ryan fucking stinks.

The Packers will beat the Browns by double digits in Week 14

I think this is prime. Oh, wow. You want to put a lock on it? Yeah. It is now. ... I'm going to take the Packers. This is where they start their run, and they're going to piss everybody off, and then they're going to win a playoff game.

The Browns will beat the Packers in Week 14

I'm going to lock back on you. I'm going to take the Browns. ... Oh, fuck. Your last name's Lockwood. That makes your locks. Double lock. ... I'm locked up. All you listeners out there, go with Hank.

The Raiders vs. Chiefs game is a loser-leaves-town game and the Chiefs will lose

It is officially a loser leaves town game because I think the loser of that game is done, and I think the Chiefs are probably going to lose.

The Jaguars will beat the Seahawks and prove they are for real

I'm just going to call it right now. The Jaguars are going to beat the Seahawks at home. And then afterwards, you know what the big talk of the town is going to be? ... These Jags are for real.

Mike Mitchell saved football by blaming Andy Dalton's poor play for dangerous hits

Mike Mitchell from the Pittsburgh Steelers went on an awesome rant, basically saving football. ... Where the genius comes in is he basically said it's not that hitting in the head is a problem. It's that Andy Dalton sucks at football.

Lamar Jackson and Baker Mayfield will be drafted higher than people think

I think Lamar [Jackson] is going to get drafted higher than people think. I think Baker Mayfield is going to get drafted higher than people think.

Case Keenum has reached the point where he won't be benched even if he loses a game

Case Keenum has now gotten to the point where if he loses a game, I think he still gets to play the next game. So it's really Case Keenum, we're going to do this.

The Packers will run the table and make the playoffs when Aaron Rodgers returns

Don't look now, but Brett Hundley has done what we didn't think Brett Hundley could do, which is basically, like, steer them mediocrely for, like, you know, five weeks, and then Aaron Rodgers [is] going to come back. No, the Packers are definitely – I mean, they're going to run the table.

Starting Geno Smith is a cyanide pill that ends an NFL coaching career in a week

He realized that starting Geno Smith is a suicide machine for coaches. That's just a pill that you pop cyanide. It's like the dude in Bosnia, I have taken poison, should have just stood up and said, I have started Geno Smith. And he's dead within the week. It's over.

The Bills will finish 10-6 and make the playoffs

Everything's out in front of us. I mean, we just got to start winning. I'll go 10-6. Win a road game in New England. The curse has been broken. Yes, we're coming. We're coming for you [Brady].

Thursday Night Football is garbage and destroys player safety

It's the worst shit ever. It's so stupid. They could take Thursday Night Football and stick it right up their ass. Let's fuck up everybody's preparation. Let's have guys who are hurt playing on four days rest. It's just bullshit, you know?

Dak Prescott sucks

Dak Prescott sucks. He sucks. And anytime – everyone's like, well, he lost to Zeke Elliott. Well, if losing your running back means that you aren't a good quarterback anymore, you weren't a good quarterback to begin with.

The Dolphins +1.5 over the Broncos is a lock

I got the Dolphins. Plus one and a half. Jay Cutler's back. Yes, Mr. Fourth Quarter... Also big time revenge game against the Broncos.

The Chiefs -3 over the Jets is a lock

I think figuring out why the Chiefs are only minus three against the Jets gave me a concussion. So I think I'm going to have to take them and find out why.

Josh Rosen is ready for the NFL now, but Sam Darnold should stay in school

I would take Rosen right now. I think Darnold needs to go back. I mean, I never want to tell a kid to go to school again for another year when he can get paid, but I think as far as being a quarterback is concerned, Darnold would be better going back for another year, whereas I think Rosen's ready to play in the NFL now.

Georgia will beat and cover against Auburn in the SEC Championship

I think that this week in Atlanta, where it's going to be a far friendlier environment for the Bulldogs, they're going to get back to the run game... So I really like Georgia in this one, not just to cover the two and a half, but just to win.

If Ohio State beats Wisconsin, Alabama will get the 4th playoff spot

If Ohio State beats Wisconsin, I think Alabama will get that spot. As long as Clemson beats Miami, Oklahoma beats TCU, and then it probably doesn't really matter what happens in the SEC title game.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship

I'm going with Wisconsin, man. 13-0 after this game, 13-0... I think Jonathan Taylor is a player, dog. Like, I like his game, bro.

The Bears would have had a better chance to win the 2010 NFC Championship if they played Caleb Hanie earlier

We'd have had a better chance of winning [the 2010 NFC Championship], no question. [If Lovie Smith went straight to Caleb Hanie].

Wearing sleeves in the cold is weak for an NFL player

That is so weak, man... I am [calling Kyle Long weak]. That's weak, dog. Next time I see him, [I'll say it to his face].