Takes

One NFL coach will be fired before the end of the 2017 season

So Ben McAdoo, we're going to get one coach at least in the NFL is going to get fired before the end of the season. It usually happens.

I would take RGIII over Andrew Luck right now because RGIII is healthy

I would take RGIII. He's not injured right now. He has a clean bill of health, and he's got Greta. [Andrew Luck]... Jim Irsay made a comment to me about six weeks ago that it's inside his own head. I'm going to trust Jim Irsay on all matters related to mental health.

Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in the NFL because the Packers are trash without him

The Packers' Monday Night Football performance just proves, and I've said it for a long time... Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in the NFL because that team sucks without him. He makes everything good. And you put Brett Hundley in there and they look like a shell of themselves.

The only consistent teams you can trust in the NFL are the Eagles and the Patriots

The only two consistents are the Patriots and the Eagles. So the only two teams at this point in the season where you can confidently say I would trust those teams.

The Saints are a really good football team

The Saints are really, really good. And I think it helped that they were playing against Jameis Winston today... the only two teams at this point in the season where you can confidently say I would trust those teams [Eagles and Patriots] and maybe the Saints.

Kirk Cousins earns $7 million for every half-decent throw

Kirk Cousins makes himself about $7 million for every half-decent throw that he has in a game. So he'll suck for a good three quarters, and then he'll have two good intermediate passes, and you're like, okay, yeah, somebody's going to pay him $25 million next year.

The Giants have officially quit on the season

The Giants have officially quit. That team does not give a fuck. No. And they're doing the old, like, no one wants to tackle anyone. They're basically playing, the rest of the season for the Giants is basically the Pro Bowl for them.

Since appearing on Pardon My Take, Jared Goff has the best stats of any NFL quarterback

I'm just going to say this. Since appearing on Pardon My Take, Jared Goff has the best stats of any NFL quarterback. Are we QB Whisperers?

The NFL's decision to overturn Zach Miller's touchdown catch was close to laughable

They have officially tried to sell the fact that they were correct with their ruling on the field, which I'm sorry to say, but I don't want to call it laughable, but close to laughable... there's no part of that element of that play that is clear and obvious to overturn.

Any potential player ejection in the NFL should be reviewable

I think that we are at the point in this game where any potential ejection ought to be reviewable... because if everything's about players' safety... then if there are egregious acts that don't get called, even if they get called and they're not ejected and should be, then I think replay ought to be able to jump in.

NFL teams below .500 should be relegated to having Brock Osweiler as their quarterback

I think that any team in the NFL that finishes below .500 should be relegated to having Brock Osweiler as their quarterback for the next year. You have to overcome Brock to prove that you're ready to rejoin the big boys.

Mitch Trubisky is now the number one quarterback of the 2017 draft class following Deshaun Watson's injury

I think you have to give it to [Mitch Trubisky] at this point [as the number one quarterback in the 2017 draft].

I'm taking the Giants +3.5 at home against the Rams

I'm taking the Giants at home, plus three and a half against our man's Jared Goff. This is just one of those situations where you take the worst team you can find if they're home dogs.

I'm taking the Broncos +8 on the road against the Eagles

I'm going with the Denver Broncos. Plus eight in Philadelphia. That's one of those games where you just look at it and you're like, this is the dumbest pick ever, so that's why it might win.

Kelvin Benjamin will lose his conditioning in Buffalo because of the winter and chicken wings

Kelvin Benjamin, who, by the way, did the Bills realize he's already kind of a hefty guy with weight problems and that he's going to be in Buffalo? Yeah, and wings. And a lot of beer... I feel like Kelvin Benjamin is going to get off the plane in Buffalo and be like, oh, I don't have to be in shape in this city.

Deshaun Watson would have failed on the Browns because they ruin all quarterbacks

Deshaun Watson is forever going to be the could-have-been-on-the-Browns guy. But what people don't realize is he would have sucked on the Browns because that's what the Browns do to quarterbacks.

The Jimmy Garoppolo trade is the beginning of the end for the Patriots dynasty

This started a chain of events that is going to end the Patriots dynasty... Belichick was basically cut out of this, right? So Belichick's pissed... and then he's going to resign. Okay. And then that's the end of it.

Botching the AJ McCarron trade was actually the Browns' best personnel move in five years

The fuck up of not being able to get [AJ McCarron] on your team if you're the Browns, that might actually be the best personnel move that the Browns have made in the last five years.

The Raiders have lost their mojo because they aren't getting enough penalties

Jack Del Rio said that they've lost their mojo. You want to know why? Because they're like one of the least penalized teams in the NFL. That's not Raiders football.

Bill Belichick spearheaded the Jimmy Garoppolo trade and wasn't forced into it by Robert Kraft

What I was told was that this is definitely Belichick running the show here... this was a trade that Belichick took on himself... I think it is really Belichick kind of spearheading it.

The NFL is the toughest sport to coach in the world

To me, the toughest sport to coach is the NFL. So those guys, to me, are the best coaches in the world.

Tom Brady has trained his brain to be anti-concussion

He's got an anti-concussion brain because of the thoughts he has. Yes, he's trained his brain not to get hurt... Imagine if he drank some of Russell Wilson's concussion water. He'd be unstoppable.

NFL catch rules are bullshit after the Zach Miller non-touchdown

I am still so fucking mad about Zach Miller and that catch that wasn't a catch that was a catch. And I know, I know that this is, you know, the Calvin Johnson rule... but this is fucking bullshit. And it's the reason why, even though I love sports, I hate sports... I was that mad that Zach Miller broke his leg for nothing.

Roger Goodell is incompetent for not having blackmail on Jerry Jones

If you want to point your finger at [Goodell] for one thing... it's his complete negligence and incompetence for not being able to pick up any sort of compromising material on Jerry Jones... He's really not that difficult to compromise.

The Eagles are the team to beat in the NFL

I'm crossing off the 49ers while simultaneously in ink, circling the Eagles and saying they might be the team to beat.

The Patriots are officially back with the best defense in the NFL

The Patriots were dead, and now all of a sudden they have the best defense. It's fucked up.

Jonathan Quinn is the worst quarterback to ever play more than one game in the NFL

Jonathan Quinn might be the worst quarterback to ever play more than one game in the NFL.

Antwaan Randle El was a better quarterback than Ben Roethlisberger during the Steelers' first Super Bowl run

Ben Roethlisberger, people forget Ben Roethlisberger, his first couple years, he was really bad. That Super Bowl he won, the first one. Honestly, Antwaan Randle El was a better quarterback.

The Chargers' game against New England is a trap game for the Patriots

I'm going with the Chargers... on the road against New England. This is a trap game for New England. I don't really know what trap game means, but when you say it's a trap game, you sound smart.

High school football coaching in America fails to prepare quarterbacks for the college spread offense

what we're seeing at the college level is all these high school kids are running like fancy, like pro-style offenses where they just hand the ball off and they play under center too much and they're not preparing kids enough for the college game to play in the spread offense.

Colin Kaepernick and Arian Foster struggle because they are vegans

Kaepernick is a vegan, how can you, like, look at all the vegans, look at Arian Foster. He's out of the NFL now because he's a vegan. [Arian Foster's hamstring fell off] because he's a vegan.

Carson Wentz is actually a good quarterback and I was wrong about him

And my other one is Carson Wentz. He's fucking good. And I, for a long time, said he sucked.

The Chicago Bears are for real

The Bears are for real. Never meant to make Cam Newton cry. See his outfit. What a real weird guy. John Fox has his team playing John Fox football, which means he takes his back, back, back, back, back to a time before Bradbury Robinson and the forward pass didn't exist.

Millennials are ruining football because their brittle bones are not breastfed long enough

It's millennials that are ruining football, but with their brittle little bones, they're not breastfed until a proper age, and so they all get hurt.

The Atlanta Falcons are officially pretenders

The Falcons are pretenders. They are officially in the pretenders pile. You know what's great, too, is I think they started like 2-0 and everyone was like, see, told you, the Falcons do not have a Super Bowl hangover. Now you see them. They are mentally just broken.

Losing the Super Bowl is better than winning because you avoid the Super Bowl winner hangover

You know what my favorite take of the week might have been? It was one of the Boston sports guys. They said that it's almost better to lose the Super Bowl because you don't get a Super Bowl hangover if you lose it. And so it didn't really work out that way this weekend.

Hue Jackson is this generation's Norv Turner or Wade Phillips

I think with [Hue] Jackson, it's just a matter of time at this point. He strikes me as this generation's Norv Turner or Wade Phillips, who is very good as a coordinator, good enough to keep getting head coaching jobs, but bad enough as a head coach to not hold those jobs.

Teddy Bridgewater will start more games than Aaron Rodgers for the rest of 2017

Which quarterback starts more games from here on forward in 2017, Aaron Rodgers or Teddy Bridgewater? Teddy Bridgewater. He's ready to go. Week 10 is what they're looking at.

Sam Bradford will never play for the Vikings again

I don't think [Sam Bradford] is ever going to play again for the Vikings. I think it's Bridgewater when they think that there's an opening to put Keenum down and put Bridgewater in.

Ezekiel Elliott has a chance to beat his suspension entirely

There's a chance [Ezekiel] Elliott beats this whole thing, not just this year, but this year, next year, and for good. Right now, it actually looks good for him to get an injunction that would allow him to play all season.

The Patriots and Seahawks will meet in the Super Bowl

Right now, if I had to pick two teams for the Super Bowl, I'd say the Patriots and the Seahawks.

I'm taking the Packers +4.5 at home against the Saints

I'm taking the Packers. Ooh, okay, I like that. Plus four and a half at home. Everyone loves the Saints. The Saints... Be careful, my friends.

I'm taking the Eagles at home against the Redskins

I'm going to go with the Eagles at home against the R-Words. Ooh, Monday night.

The 49ers are 'cover machines' and I will keep betting on them

My cool throne is, number one, the 49ers for the gambling luck. They've lost the last, what, five games by three points or less? They're cover machines. I'm going to keep riding those Niners.

Philadelphia can't have nice things, so the Eagles' success will eventually fall apart

My hot seat is the Eagles. And this is quick... It just seems like it's too good right now. And Philadelphia can't have nice things.

The NFL's ratings decline is a 'fake news' narrative partially caused by warm weather

Ratings are down 7.5%... Fake news, because we watch more than ever... Also, I just want to note this, that it just today felt like fall... You can't fully embrace football when it's 90 degrees.

The Giants are probably better without Odell Beckham Jr.

Should we just embrace debate right now? Are the Giants better without Odell Beckham? Hmm. Probably.

The NFL is much worse without Aaron Rodgers

I do think the NFL is much worse without [Rodgers] because we already have a league with very few good quarterbacks, and Aaron Rodgers is probably the best one in the NFL.

Players are statistically less likely to get a concussion without a helmet

I think you're actually statistically less likely to get a concussion when you're not wearing a helmet. Agree, because you protect your head more. That's basically that's a basic fact of human reaction to things.

Hugh Jackson will lose the power struggle with the Browns front office

When you know the front office and the coach are on the outs with each other... only one can survive... I think Hugh's going to lose that power struggle.