PMT DB
PMT DB
Scott Van Pelt on Van Talk Premiere, ESPN Politics, and Maryland Football
The vibes are high but the sleep is low after the guys finally made their ESPN2 debut with the premiere of Barstool Van Talk. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are running on fumes, but they couldn't miss the chance to break down a chaotic start to the NBA season. Gordon Hayward’s leg going sideways within minutes of tip-off was a brutal watch, though PFT found a way to spin the injury into a critique of the NBA's most dominant player.
PFT CommenterLeBron James travels and could learn how to establish a pivot foot from Gordon Hayward's injury
Hey, LeBron James, you could learn a lot from Gordon Hayward about how to establish a pivot foot. [LeBron] travels.
While the Celtics deal with Hayward, the guys also took shots at Kevin Durant after the Warriors' opening night stumble. Big Cat isn't convinced KD has the leadership chops to lead a team as the clear number one.
Big CatKevin Durant lacks the clutch gene and will never win an NBA championship where he is the alpha on the team
Kevin Durant lacks the clutch gene. Doesn't get the ball off on time. [He will never win an NBA championship] where he's the alpha on the team. Beta ball.
Switching to the diamond, Big Cat is currently in a state of impending doom as the Cubs look like they've forgotten how to hit a baseball. Meanwhile, he's seeing something terrifying in the Bronx. He's calling it the "aura," and it usually ends with New Yorkers wearing pinky rings and screaming at everyone while holding a trophy.
Big CatThe Yankees are going to win the World Series because they have 'the aura'
The Yankees, I think, are going to win the World Series. I'm actually going to say that right now. I think they have what we call the look. I was going to say the aura, actually. The aura.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
Hank kicked off the segment with a heavy heart for the Trailer Park Boys after the passing of John Dunsworth, though his Cool Throne was much more conspiratorial. He’s got his eyes on Durham, North Carolina, and some federal investigators.
HankThe FBI is sniffing around Duke basketball
I've heard that the FBI is snooping around, sniffing around Duke.
PFT is firmly on the 49ers bandwagon, not because they are winning games, but because they are the most reliable way to make a buck in the NFL right now.
PFT CommenterThe 49ers are 'cover machines' and I will keep betting on them
My cool throne is, number one, the 49ers for the gambling luck. They've lost the last, what, five games by three points or less? They're cover machines. I'm going to keep riding those Niners.
Big Cat rounded things out by putting the city of Philadelphia on the Hot Seat. The Eagles are flying too high, and according to the history of Philly sports, that only means one thing: the cliff is approaching fast.
Big CatPhiladelphia can't have nice things, so the Eagles' success will eventually fall apart
My hot seat is the Eagles. And this is quick... It just seems like it's too good right now. And Philadelphia can't have nice things.
Scott Van Pelt Live From the Van
Friend of the program Scott Van Pelt joined the show live from the cramped, musk-filled interior of Vanny Woodhead. The interview was a mix of TV advice for the rookies and SVP's usual brand of self-deprecating humor. He gave some high-level culinary advice for the kids at home regarding candy bars.
Scott Van PeltFreezing Reese's Peanut Butter Cups is the best way to eat them
Reese's, put them in the freezer, kids. That's the next level stuff. Everyone knows that.
SVP also got serious about the evolution of ESPN and the nature of the "sellout" label. He admitted that dealing with trolls is a losing battle, especially when it comes to the degenerate gamblers who haunt his mentions. He knows exactly where those people belong in the social hierarchy.
Scott Van PeltGambling Twitter is in the VIP section of the worst parts of Twitter
Gambling Twitter is in VIP of the worst Twitter. It's definitely... I don't know if they're in this Uber VIP up top where Jay-Z is... but they're in VIP. Twitter trolls are definitely in the VIP of the club of Twitter.
Naturally, the conversation turned to the board. SVP has a reputation for taking the ugliest underdogs on the slate, but even he has his limits after being burned by certain Big 12 programs.
Scott Van PeltI am never betting on Kansas again
Kansas, you are off the list. After last week, no more. [I am never taking them again].
The Maryland alum couldn't help but show a little homerism when discussing the Terps' future in the Big Ten. Despite the guys calling it "boyhood wonderment," Scott is a believer in the current coaching regime.
Scott Van PeltMaryland football will become a contender in the Big Ten if DJ Durkin stays
I think if DJ Durkin stays, that there'll be a time not too far from now when not just the Minnesotas of the world that you beat, maybe you can step up. I'm telling you.
Before letting him go, they asked the question every listener wanted to know: will the legendary duo of SVP and Russillo ever return? Scott gave a blunt answer that might break some hearts, but at least we'll always have the memories of the accidental hand touches on air.
Scott Van PeltI will never do another show with Ryen Russillo
I don't think we're ever going to do a show again. [SVP and Russillo]
Around the Horn
In Trouble in Paradise, Big Cat went off on the Chicago Bulls after Bobby Portis punched teammate Nikola Mirotic in practice. Big Cat argues that the culture of violence starts at the very top of the organization with John Paxson.
Big CatThe Bulls' practice fight is a result of a failure in leadership from John Paxson
This starts from the top. This is leadership from the top. This is John Paxson, who has famously gotten a choking match with Vinny Del Negro... It's a good culture that the Bulls have.
PFT also offered some solutions for the MLB's pace of play issues during Mike Greenberg’s Dumb Rules. He thinks the league is being too soft on the pitchers and should let them fuel up to reach triple-digit velocities more consistently.
PFT CommenterMajor League Baseball should allow pitchers to use steroids to speed up the game
Allow steroids for the pitchers. Because it's a problem with the slow game, right? So they can throw the ball faster. Get up to like 106, 107 miles an hour. You're shaving a good like two seconds off the game.
Finally, the guys took a stand for the NFL shield. Despite the reports of declining ratings, Big Cat thinks the metrics are lying because they don't account for the weather or the fact that fans like PFT and Hank are watching enough football for three people.
Big CatThe NFL's ratings decline is a 'fake news' narrative partially caused by warm weather
Ratings are down 7.5%... Fake news, because we watch more than ever... Also, I just want to note this, that it just today felt like fall... You can't fully embrace football when it's 90 degrees.
Just remember, if you ever find yourself in an awkward situation where your boyfriend calls you "mommy," just know that PFT considers it the highest possible honor.
PFT CommenterCalling your partner 'mommy' or 'daddy' is technically the sexiest thing you can say
The words daddy and mommy just mean that you've had sex. They're like an honor. When you get knighted, and now you shall arise as sir once you have sex and you procreate, your name's daddy and mommy. So actually, it's technically the sexiest thing you can say.
Always use a kitchen timer or you'll end up with a burnt pizza and a broken heart.
