Takes

Bill O'Brien and Mike Zimmer will definitely be the ones to mess up the virtual draft technology

Bill O'Brien the head coach and Bill O'Brien the GM would be at the top of my list for that... I don't see them either one of them as being technology guys... Mike Zimmer definitely is going to be up there.

Jerry Jones will definitely screw up the virtual draft technology by fighting over control with Stephen Jones

Jerry Jones simply trying to like rip the iPad out of Stephen Jones' hands and having fall and and logout is definitely on the table here... Jerry Jones still opens up his web browser it's probably Netscape and it goes to backpage.com.

The Bengals and Marvin Lewis are staying together for the kids

The Bengals and Marvin Lewis are staying together for the kids. And they're in a loveless relationship. That's okay. They don't fight in public. They don't kiss on the lips anymore. That's fine.

Jeff Fisher is the 'Rasputin' of the NFL and is guaranteed a contract extension wherever he goes

You're not giving Jeff Fisher enough credit because Jeff Fisher, he's Rasputin. Once he gets in the building, he knows how to whisper into his boss. You shoot him and he just keeps walking forward. Jeff Fisher is absolutely getting at least one contract extension, no matter where he goes. That's a fact.

The NFL needs more players like Vontaze Burfict

The NFL needs more Vontaze Burfict. Not the other way around. I want to be scared going over the middle. You need a guy like that in the league at all times.

Jay Cutler will get injured within two months of starting for the Dolphins

I guess we're going to have to wait at least another two months until Jay gets hurt... So two months and he's going to get hurt.

Skip Bayless is right that Bill Belichick is only a very good coach, not a great one, because he hasn't won without a quarterback

Kings stay kings. He said, I don't think he's a great coach. I think he's a very good one... Bill Belichick has not won a Super Bowl without a quarterback. Not that good. He's good. He's great. He's very good, but he's not great. Right. Exactly.

The Patriots' franchise success is suspiciously linked to the aftermath of 9/11

Patriots completely changed the course of their franchise after [9/11]. Look into it... the plot thickens. Bill Belichick has not won a Super Bowl without a quarterback [or a national tragedy].

Bill Belichick will draft Christian McCaffrey next year

It's reached a point where I'm going to go to Vegas and put $100 on Belichick drafting Christian McCaffrey next year. And it's going to be the easiest money that I ever made.

Bill Belichick signs white receivers just to confuse Chris Collinsworth

I think that he just signs white receivers and running backs just to confuse Chris Collinsworth. So the announcers have to take another 15 seconds after they get a first down or touchdown to just make sure that they get the guy's name right.

Jeff Fisher is a king for blaming his failures on Stedman Bailey and Tre Mason

Somehow blamed the last five years of sucking on two draft picks. ... 'We've had some unfortunate things take place with some high picks in Stedman, Bailey, and Trey Mason.' ... King stay king.

Jeff Fisher is lowering the unemployment rate by cutting so many players and creating new jobs for others

Since he's been such a bad coach, he's had to cut a lot of players, which means he's created new jobs for other players. So really, he's out there. He's lowering the unemployment rate.

Jeff Fisher's record for most losses in NFL history will never be broken

Jeff Fisher's losingest head coach in NFL history might be the untouchable record. ... Because they fire coaches now instantly. If you lose, you get two years max. ... Once Gus Bradley gets fired, then there's no chance anyone will break Jeff Fisher's record.

The Rams will announce an extension for Jeff Fisher immediately following their next win

Right now, after the Rams' next win, they're going to announce the extension. He's getting out in front of the story right now, laying a nice mattress down so that nobody's shocked. Next win of the Rams, they're going to use that as the premise to announce an extension.