Takes

Bill Gates could not hit a slow-pitch softball

Do you think Bill Gates could hit a slow pitch softball? No, that makes me feel good. No. ... Let me let me get a little fucking 10, 10 foot arch on his ass. He won't, he won't be able to hit that.

90% of all koalas have chlamydia

Billy's fun facts: 90% of koalas have chlamydia. Anyway, like people who handle koalas at zoos sometimes catch chlamydia.

The seeds from China are 'murder gourds' designed to destroy American pumpkins and cancel Halloween

He planted him seeds and a gourd pops out. Personally I think that the gourd was... going to try to harm American gourds with some sort of disease or murder gourds. And guess what's a very American gourd? Pumpkin... trying to cancel Halloween exactly. Wow, and guess what? That's Because no pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. Oh my gosh trickle down. Christmas gets ruined.

You should definitely plant mystery seeds sent from China even if the government says not to

I saw the story over the weekend and I get the US government was saying do not plant seeds that come ship to you from China. Fuck that. If I get mystery seeds. The first thing I'm going to do is plant those.

Murder Hornets are not a threat to humans and people should be more worried about Africanized Bees

Murder Hornets are not a problem. The Africanized bees, on the other hand, have been killing more people per capita in the U.S. already... selfies are more dangerous than the murder hornets to the Chinese.

My 'Crisis Fuel' supplement will provide enough energy and mass to survive 40 days in a wildfire or pandemic

I developed a proprietary blend... it's like 2,000 calories a punch. It's protein, carbs, good additive, cornstarch to it... if there's a wildfire approaching your house, screw the food, grab your 10-gallon bucket of Crisis Fuel which is all powder and a bunch of water, throwing your car, you have enough meals for 40 days.