The Celtics will smoke the Heat if they play in the Conference Finals

Everyone saying the Heat now... they could beat [the Bucks]. If we play the Heat in the Conference Finals, I think we would smoke them.

Tiger Woods in contention on a Sunday at the US Open is what America needs right now

What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle... What we need is Tiger Woods to be in contention on Sunday at the US Open because like you remember at the Masters, everybody get behind tiger on Sunday.

The Rockets-Lakers series will be a 'Frankenstein series' where Mike D'Antoni's Mickey Mouse basketball beats LeBron James

I really, really want to see the Rockets versus the Lakers because that is a Frankenstein series... Rockets are going to play no one over 6'6" and the Lakers are going to play everyone over 6'10"... D'Antoni's system is Mickey Mouse basketball, but it's still going to beat the Lakers.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.